As my last post hinted My maternal grandmother ... Nannie... passed away this past weekend

link listed and it a good read.
http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/tennessean/obituary.aspx?n=mabel-nadine-knight-lain&pid=143765390

For those who are NOT familiar with the phrase a "Rosie the Riviter" please also read the next link, as we as Americans and Women should understand this part of our past.  This was the beginning of changing history, and I am VERY proud of my Nannie being a part of it.

http://www.tennessean.com/article/20100626/NEWS01/6260326/-Rosie-the-Riveter-wants-place-in-his-tory

My Nannie would speak at the breakfast table how they would upset their bosses, their bosses would come by and ask them to work faster etc... she said they all looked at each other and had a thought.  BUT NOT ONCE did they change what they were doing!   EVERY WOMAN there ... she would say... had a brother, uncle, or special someone this wing could go to.  NO ONE was going to risk not doing a PERFECT!!!! job and yes she stressed PERFECT.

Had Nannie not passed away this weekend I would loved to have attended this conference as it was extended to the decendants of... Rosie's anywhere! 

If you have family members that lived through the war you may want to ask them what they did, as many jobs were considered necessary and women were NOT ALLOWED to quit, while others were expendable and allowed to change positions.  What type of work card did your family member have? 

There are great stories out there that need to be passed on, this is just ONE organization that is targeting a specific group of women that helped keep our men safer during the war.  These women kept the industry of AMERICA alive when the world thought it impossible for a woman to do any type of work OUTSIDE the house or that not attached to a desk!

Loss of the last of her kind.

I am not going to be posting for a while, I will NOT be responding to emails, as a flame in my life that has not only been a guidance, but a source of warmth and hope has faded and is gone. I will not be near a computer, I will not be worried about the outside world, as I need time to reflect, celebrate, and watch the torch pass from one matriarch to the next.







Life is hard, I can only hope in any passing there is peace and a celebration beyond dreams.






NOT IN>>> Amber.


DON'T EXPECT ME IN ...

barn update.

ok... sit back relax... take a deep breath... I keep repeating these things...

My barn is starting to look like more than just a building with a purpose.  It is starting to show signs of holding horses specifically.

I am so excited.

This is Sweetpea's stall...

Both stalls... and yes although any horse person will tell you NOT to put door openings next to each other .  You will see as the design plays out I wanted this ... it is my barn .... and I am having the doors made to my specifications instead of the norm.  Just wait you will see.

I know... I know it is a mess but it is still a work in progress.

No post lately?

Ok, so I have been doing a few things, birds, horses, work, and property/ estate research and planning AGAIN... not to mention all the day dreaming about possibilities...

So the kick walls are in, the deviding walls go up or START up today... I'll take pictures later today!   But heat is getting to me and everyone in the South East.   It is too early to be this hot but... as life continues we each have our ways of dealing with it.

flowers to keep you happy till I get more pictures of the barn.

1st is honey suckel I planted at the estate ... an entrace welcome plant to start growing up one of my wood / ricks of wood.

I have no clue what this plant is... but it is all ove the estate... I like it but worried about how evasive it will be in the future.

Butterfly weed , I love this stuff but as usual poisen to the horses... spreads easily so I will have to keep it to the OTHER side of the estate.

Just one of the many ground covers I am trying to employ for the entrance area... wish me luck.

I can barely contain myself.

1st update on the barn... here is the latest picture from this morning...

now the part I can't sit still about.

While the picture of the barn up loaded I grabbed my lunch, fingers wet with juice, hurry to wipe them off and type this in.

One thing about SUMMER I can not live without.  TOMATOES.... get a load of this!

what glorious tomatoes and bread... the knife was as sharp as I could find and still ... it went everywhere!  but NEVER wasted!

call in the fat police... I love mayo on tomoatoes... a little pepper for bite.

Basil from the garden...

Lettuce and close it up...

It is officially summer in my house.... bring it on! I'm set for anything now!

Cool, sweet, soft, juicy... salads, sandwiches, grilling you name it my tomatoes will be on or in everything till they run out.

Hurry up Troy! You gotta come and get your tomatoes before I eat them all!

Expectations for my B Day...

While today is just another day, I have had wonderful cards and gifts arrive today, I am thankful for them all.

My goals for the day are 1/2 way done.

fly retardant for the horses,
cedar for the birds,
chem spray on the pasture again.

and cutting apples off my poor young trees.

 While I love having these apples I only planted the trees last fall, and the tiny limbs are bent from the weight of these (could be... lushious) apples.

One must sacrafice at times and this is one of those times.

It is the Heirloom varieties that I planted that are abundant with apples.  The graphed / bred standards are fruited but not as weighed down.  All of them have to go TODAY!

The back yard... as you can see has been  all a buzz with hay production for the year.  But again the weather makes it another bad year for horse hay.  This hay will pickle and has been rained on each day, cattle will be fine but this would kill a horse.  You have to know what you are getting and thus far, most the local hay is NOT going to be good, clean, dry for horses.  Hope it is better where you are!

More HOT days in June, well above average

Considering everyone is suffering the heat, here are some shots I thought I would share... as it was just cool enough to get out in the due this morning and take a few pictures.   Hope this brightens your day, spirits, and cools the soul.


This is the first sunflower I got this year, I am hoping to have hundreds this year, but only a few have opened their eyes to my house, thus far....

I just about have my side area to where it re-seeds itself each year... I am experimenting with several types of sunflowers but we shall see what does best.

Borage... one of my favorite flowers to put in a salad. It taste like a cucumber but looks so pretty on top of a crisp multi green salad. You should try! They are beautiful in the garden and great for eating!

no one likes onions in their flower garden, except me... I enjoy the tangle, mangle, strange beauty of the wild plants.

A bee on its morning borage run... wet sweet cool time of the day.

Dill, some things just don't change, tomatoes, Basil and dill are all a MUST even if no real garden is in effect this year.

Lavender, I use this for EVERY THING... cleaning, medicating the birds baths... making tea for myself and sprinkeling it on food.... anything you put Rosemary on Lavender works just as well!

the BACK of the barn... not a good picture but everyone is asking for updates more often now that it appears to be a building with a purpose.

only the outside of the barn is on... but I will get to the inside soon enough...

by 9am Karl is hot and eating to keep up his strength!

a HOT day in June.

For the longest I was wondering if spring would ever come, then the weather almost passes over spring and throws up into a deep humid summer heat.

Today Sunday there is a plow day at a near by farm and while I have no pictures, I did take the camera only to find out there was no card in it.  I just have to laugh at myself sometimes.

A dear young relative of mine has been in Singapore as of late and I am eager to hear of her night time andventure with animals, but we had a little adventure here as well.

Remember this is not a zoo, this is my front porch, front bedroom but I loved it!  Some of you will not like my pictures but I am happy to share.

We were so excited to see THREE bats on our front porch.  It must have been the heat, here they were hanging out on the window screen in the shade of the front porch.  Our house is ROCK, solid rock and with the sun as bright as it was yesterday I can only imagine how hot it was up on the cornice of the roof.

There are THREE... MOTHER with all her red hair, baby ONE is on the RIGHT of this picture hidden under her left wing... you can only see one foot from this angle.  baby TWO is on the left of this picture and you can see it pretty well, meaning you see a part of the head and one little ear.   

Why didn't I number them left to right... because baby one has more hair than baby two.  Two has no hair at all while one has a nice coat, one is older!  Want a better look?

This is baby TWO! see almost pink ... no hair.

This is baby ONE... see it is a nice brown color not as pink...

The mother was attentive, but apparently allowed me pretty close.  Her ears would twitch... but she appeared more worried about the babies than me.

At any other rate... my barn is coming along pretty fast... here is the latest picture of the roof, the padded flooring, and the back outside wall being up.

Roof is a neutral color, unlike most barns but this is what I wanted... Jerry wanted RED... but he liked this color as well which worked out good for our marriage! ha ha ha...

I swept the floor and laid other pads on top of it to allow them to flatten before applying them outside the barn, you will see as time goes on, but all is necessary in the plan.  

It's Friday...

A typical Friday ... I love Fridays, just the way it rolls off the toungue... the way it evokes a sense of letting my hair down, it slows my blood pressure, and hushes my breathing. 

The fog banks were so thick this morning.  When driving in and out of fog the feelings are dependant on how I start my day.  It can give a sense of fear... what is in there? Am I going to hit someone walking, driving too slow and the animals.... oh my!   OR it can feel like flying in a cloud, allowing oneself to be free, the curve in the road is like a free soaring hawk in flight.  

Today, because it is Friday the fog was beautiful. 

While most are asleep I was getting guys to start the roofing on the barn, then running to get hay so I could take care of the horses and get to work on time.

Don is my hay man.  He is a rare breed of man; that does right by those who do right by him.  I enjoy riding with him and doing business with him because we see eye to eye.  If I have an issue I can tell him, and he doesn't take it personal, just tells me where I stand and that is the end of it. 

Today he did me a favor, allowing me to get ONE bail of hay and come back later today to get more... I pay him up front, or leave him a blank check he is so trust worthy.  His hay is good quality and our talks are worth gold.  We "chewed the fatt" this morning longer than we should have but I enjoy the friendship so... much it is often hard not to share information and knowledge with eachother.

By the time I got back to the estate, 1/4 of the roof was on... those guys work so fast! And it LOOKS INCREDIBLE!   When the metal guy called and said it was in, I got excited, I was eager to have it on yestesterday but the rain stopped everything, TODAY on a FRIDAY to top it off ... the roof is going on and I am so excited I can hardly work.

Work... there are few orders but 15 boxes of supplies just came in on the porch, bursting my bubble to get back over to the estate to watch the roof go on.  Customers calls are non stop (which is good paying for the roof) and one customer is on his way over.

So now my day is a tunnel... I can't wait till 2pm so I can go see the barn, take pictures and ???? allow my excitement to overwhelm Jerry when I get home.... wink wink.

At any rate, work awaits, jitters are a flutter, and I can't concentrate.  HELP 2pm needs to come quick.

Rain, Sun, Rain, Sun What will the day bring

While I type it is only 10am with this entry.  BUT the rain has been so heavy the trail (through my pasture) to the barn is slick as a mud slide and I'll not be driving on it anymore today.

I have gotten more wood for blocking,
I have gotten more supplies,
The metal was delivered just before the heavens opened.

I am intreagued with all that goes into a metal roof, Farm Standard is just tacking on a raised area one over the next, while this slightly higher grade requires more work and skill.  Cut/ Bend Screw, Nail etc... I am eager to see how it all works out.  BUT the roof is too slick at this moment to risk the application of metal and the bending and breaking of bones if someone slides off the roof.

So work is in progress on the floors, Mats that are 4x6 and weight a ton... just joking they do weigh at least 60 lbs or more, and the bulk and bend of the mats are a pain. 

Tamping of stone (again... third time on top) laying of wood, tamping of wood, filling with more stone, tamping again, sweeping, tamping... Then the mats go on, but they have to fit PERFECT they have to be squeezed into a perfect spot so the weight of the horses twisting, kicking and rearing would not move them.  This is a harder job than you can imagine.  I expect perfection with the mats.

I will let you know how it works out later in the day. 

BUT if the sun comes out???? who knows they may decide to climb up on the roof.  Only Mother Nature knows my schedule for the day.

I am at her mercy!

Was today another MONDAY?

Today was a day to put out fires.  Not one thing went as scheduled, Not one thing (for me) went smooth.

While I feel like there are still smoldering embers in my day I can now sit back and share pictures Jerry and I just went and took of the barn.

As funny as it is I was asked several times today how my barn was going.  I normally answer with ... nice and slow.  But today! Oh my!

My day always starts around 5:30am the ball starts rolling VERY fast by 7 am and and by 8 I feel like I am in warp speed for a few hours, then I slow down a little again.

Today started in warp and is only now (after my bed time) starting to slow down.

Work had me awake most of the night, worrying about German deliveries.  The barn I had taken a short break from, (three days) slapped me in the face today requiring several things immediately!  Mats... which are NOT cheap, more pressure treated wood, gravel, more labor and in the mist of it I find out my metal roof is here and will be delivered tomorrow.  Which means we have a tool we need to get for the edges etc...

While I do not live in Joelton, there are no straight roads over here to get from one place to another. 
While working I called every farm store that had equine mats to find the sale of the day, and drove the 8 miles to get them but that takes a good 30 minutes due to curves etc... So getting anything done takes all day.

If I did drugs, If I had anything to relax today would be one of those days... but no worries no beer or wine in the house besides tomorrow will be a full day and a glass of anything only wakes me up at 2am and that is the last thing I need in my life right now.

But I can sit here and look at all the progress on the barn,

The barn is starting to look like a place with purpose.  I have always loved the OLD barns, and that is the style I wanted to look at when we finally get a house on the estate.  SO... OLD it is... Old barns have character, and style so a pattern was applied to the outside of the barn. 

Jerry is being incredibly supportive, he likes what is going on and said it looks better than he thought it would. 

So tomorrow, metal goes on the roof and mats go into the stalls... a full days work if not more.  I'll  take more pictures as we go along, but I'm happy to see what I have right now.

I'm Doing Great!

Thank you to so many for all the phone calls, concerns, and notes of thoughts.  I am doing well!  While I still have no memory of falling off the horse, and I never expect to.

I have several other accidents in my life that to this day I can not remember and I don't see the next fall being any different.  Had it effected my daily functions, memories etc... I might consider cutting back on the hobby but not at this point.  Life is what it is and we all take a fall eventually.  If you are going to ride you have to be ready to fall.  Besides again I was only on a pad, no saddle!  I will start to put a saddle on the little guy to make a few of you feel better.  But don't expect it to keep me from falling off!  IF I am going to fall, I'm going to fall.???? it happens.

As you can see by the previous post pictures; I DID have on my helmet and plan to get a new one before I get back on.  But none of this stops me from doing ground training etc... with both horses.

I have been taking it easy this weekend, somewhat enjoyed my time off, and starting to get back into the roll of work and building.

I have done only the basics this weekend, cleaning stalls, working on the computer, and walking to get ready for Yellowstone.

I can not wait for the barn to be 1/2 ready for the horses.  SOME gravel is planned for delivery tomorrow, which means I have to have the drainage ditches done today; as I will be the first delivery in the morning.  This is a BIG step in the process of getting the horses in.  I can not work on the INSIDE of the barn until I have some of the gravel down, drainage in and mats on the floor so I can use the walls to keep the mat in better position as time and weight increase with age.   (meaning the horses will move the mats over time and only get heavier as they get older.) ?  I forget who I am talking to sometimes ha ha ha...  BUT I need to have vaper barrier on the ground below all this ... with so many things I tend to loose track of order.

I am also in search for hangers for my tools.  Brian had these GREAT hangers in his barn where no tool was EVER left on the ground, this is what I want for my barn... getting it all organized as I can.

I will take pictures of the outside of the barn later today as most of the outside walls will be up.  this is a HUGE deal for me!  I am getting more and more excited as I get closer and closer to a life long goal.

Before you read further... I AM FINE...

I am fine.  I am like anyone else we all take a fall sooner or later.

See I was having fun!   That is what the day was suppose to be about.  So one goal was accomplished even if for a short moment.

BUT everyone needs to remember the type of person I am ... had the situation turned out bad... this is how I want to be remembered.  A person that lived life... not one that wished she had a life.

Having said that! I am writing about this situation second hand, I still have no memories of what happened from my own version of this story.

I do remember bits and pieces.

I my work day was completed yesterday, I even stopped work on the estate early so I could get to the riding ring just to play around while the girls got ready for a show this weekend.

So I got to Annie's farm just before 4pm.  I didn't realize the girls were coming from another barn, but I was within sight distance of the ring.  Katherine drove up, and I tacked Navarre back up after spraying him down twice ( having left off one (a good) saddle blanket on the fence I was hoping to get on my walk back up the road... to exercise myself as you will see in the pictures I have gained weight again... tiz life)

Nancy was in the ring.  I was just riding Navarre ( Jerry had just shown up to take pictures so I could correct my seat, arms, legs etc... in other words to see how bad I was riding.) Navarre...  wanted to eat, then when the girls got there he wanted to be social... I don't think I ever allowed the horses to sniff each other? but that is all I remember!

Long story short? I fell off... in my mind I think I fell off.  although physically... I know I fell off.  Must not have been a big fall as Jerry would have said something,  Although he said I did upset everyone by getting back on the horse.... Which sounds like me... or  PawPaw?  you fall you get up! Quickly!   Besides the horse is too young to get me off and  me not get back on, as he would only do it again learning he could get me off and get relief from pressures of me telling him what to do.    But all I remember is Not knowing how I got to the ring, Why I was down there, or What the $&*(&^ I was doing. 

So I got off told everyone I was confused, and HOW I was confused.  I knew names to those I had known names before, I knew Jerry's phone number to call him, but ... I still have no idea of a play by play of what I did wrong with the horse. And don't get me wrong... I know I did things wrong, you can see my seat is off my shoulders are not back properly my good leg is twisted OUT, although bare back always looks worse than with the dressage saddle.  In other words I know I am at major fault with what ever else I did.

No my head didn't hurt, No my body didn't hurt YESTERDAY...

I did stay up later than normal, I did wake up and make myself stay awake answer questions from my dear husband, He woke me up before he went to sleep.   THIS MORNING... I can hardly bend over, and my head is touchy if I slosh it in the pasture four wheeling to the barn. But I am other wise fine. 

I can only assume ASS U ME that as many times as my head has hit the pavement/rock, road, dirt, gates... etc... Like a boxer it will only get worse as I get older.

Proof of my getting back on?

And such a beautiful Square Hault... AFTER I get my act together he may look even better than he does here!

OK now this is my bad leg in this picture and no matter what I do the knee is going to make the foot twist out, I would NEVER be able to show!  but I enjoy riding all the same.