Another Day In Paradise.

I have taken some time for myself again, as I was rolling in a dark place in my mind and did not want to share such a dim view of life with the world.

After cleaning smells, the cat cage and collecting toys I had all over the hay room for Jacapo I started one of my loves...
I marked every French movie available on cable and sat and watched them non-stop.
After hearing what I consider a beautiful language for a good two days... As the sun came out, I was able to go and sit on the hill above the barn and watch my horses.

Listen to them chew their hay, snort at the wind, and click thier shoes as they walked.
I listened to the hawk that lives in my area, the rustle of leaves from the mice and squirls at the barn, the pecking of the wood peckers on the estate.

I was able to absorb a piece of mind, gather myself back into real life, and finally slowly climb out of my self given darkness of loosing an animal.

It is amazing how sitting on the hill, seeing the pasture from a new view, and not being disturbed by anything can open your mind, heart and feed your soul ... enabling you to ... pick yourself up, walk, run, and even be a little happier.

why do I mourn a cat so?

Because I see humans as being in charge of their life! I see people as being able to do, dream and grasp what is important to them.  If they do not?  Well I didn't encourage such behavior... all the opposite... I encourage people to make a list, DO IT, and if your higher power gives you enough time on earth... MAKE ANOTHER... and DO IT!   don't stop! Do NOT cut yourself short.  Be happy everyday and enjoy the life you make for yourself.

I see the cat at my mercy of bringing him home with me.  It being my responsibility to keep him sheltered, fed, and safe.  I TRIED all three of these, but some how he didn't have that animal instinct to stay away from the front of a horse?  not sure what was going through his mind in that moment.  But ... RESPONSIBILITY  has been beaten into me from day one... and so this dear people is why I morn the loss of a cat and not the loss of humans that had a life they lived or choose not to live.

Don't get me wrong ... I mourn the loss of any human but not the RESPONSIBLITY of that human, as I have no children.    BUT children who loose their battle with life, I mourn them even more so than I am today with my little Jacapo. 

Life is what it is... Make it your choices... Make YOUR life... LIVE!!!!!! and Live WELL!