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Sunday, June 28, 2015

Going away

Going away makes me appreciate what I have; what I have learned of our tiny plot of land; how healthy and beautiful my animals are; how selfish I have been.   I got to do nothing... I took in the area the first day & the rest of the time I lied by the pool covered in sun screen. Ate till I could eat no more. Slept till my body would allow... and started over again.   I did cheat on my horses while I was gone, having a short run on the beach with Jerry's grandson Bryson. Other than that I calmed my heart mind and hopefully enough for my soul as well. It had been too long since my last get away and my body revolted as soon as I arrived shocking itself to a stop with no phone, internet, or electronics in our suite. Life is so much better having now been away again. Something I now long to do again sooner than later.

Monday, January 26, 2015

Our Parents

My parents, your parents, and all parents... they all do the same thing!
They do the best they can with what they have.  

Why does everyone blame their parents?
No I'm not saying my parents were perfect, no one's parents are, but they all put one foot in front of the other and do the best they can while more likely they were losing their minds.   You likely have no idea what your parents were going through as you were growing up.  Money, jobs, marriage, love, religion, social norms, social expectations, you likely have no grasp of the details.

Some how with their own luggage/ baggage/ scares or whatever you call it; they did their best to expose you to the world.  It may not have been the world of your choosing, but it was the world to which they had access.  Are you able to expose your children to a restaurant where each person has a private waiter? Are you able to fly your children around the world first class? Are you able to provide your children with anything and everything the disire?  No Not 99% of the world!

BUT you can teach your children what each utensil is for if they ever get the chance of eating at a restaurant with individual waiters.  You can teach your children HOW to act and take in a new situation.  YOU can make sure your children read what ever subject is your child's passion at the moment.  YOU can be a good example only by doing your best.  

If like many your parents didn't teach you how to act by example you can follow and learn from examples of people who are successful in areas of your love, attraction or passion in life.

The point is your parents do NOT make your choices for you.  They either showed you a path or they were not able to, don't EXPECT them to do more than they can; only YOU have to power to make your choices from today out, not your parents, friends or family.

EVERY choice YOU make determines your future NOT the choices of your parents... they did the best they could

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

TOO much going on.

Yes I know I am always on the go; in the middle of a project; and about to pull my hair out.

Yesterday was the straw that broke the camels back!

List of projects. 
1. deck railing... ( I have enough up to keep codes off my back) but not completed.
     a. needs 5 more file cabinets, and needs to be painted once again.
     b. brackets / mountings to be finished as well
     c. the chairs and table need to be painted to match.

2. Concrete patio for dry footing for the horses.
     a.  needs another 2/3rds done, I only have 1/3 completed and while it is great it is NOT done and not the look I am going to settle for.
     b. While I can more easily drive up to the barn I need to pour a concrete RAMP up to the pavers so the truck doesn't displace anything!

3. NOW the Container...
     a. needs to be painted with cool sealant.
     c. needs support on roof so I can plant things to over hang the container and HIDE it!
     d. needs trees from the property cut and placed next to the container till the plants work their way DOWN to the ground for hiding!!!
     e. I may plant hops (hops grows 20' a year and comes back IF mulched over winter)
     f.  I will also NEED shipping pallets to put on the ground and on the walls of the container ALSO for air ventilation.  So I will be on the look out for these as cheaply as possible.  

4. Lets not forget the normal mulching, caring for plants and trees already in place, the horses (getting in hay, feed, and medical care cost) , the compost piles, and trying to keep the place looking from looking like white trash...

SO like everyone else MONEY is a major issue right now and deck and patio will have to wait.  My next step is finding roof fans for the container.   I can't put hay in it if there is no circulation. 
WHY... because no matter how great your hay is it has a little moisture in it and will still dry out as time goes on.  My plan is to make the container perfect for hay and then start back on the other projects. 

While all my plans were to be around food this year for the estate it is NOT going to happen....
I have canceled all my plant orders and requested a refund so I can spend all my money on the container and making life easier for me over winters and safer for the horses.

Just yesterday I had someone offer to help around the barn.  I love having help but right now I can't have someone around that is not horse savvy that I am going to be more worried about than what ever project is on hand. 

So I have said NO.
I am saying no to myself and anything else till I get this thing DONE! Life is too short to worry as much as I am at this moment having SO MANY fires going at the same time.  I have got to get this under control before I can walk another step!


Monday, January 19, 2015


There are two kinds of talent, man-made talent and God-given talent. With man-made talent you have to work very hard. With God-given talent, you just touch it up once in a while.   by Pearl Baily

At this later stage in my life I choose to focus on my God-given talents and stay simple and in the dirt.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Tolerance... ? ... wish I had more!

This morning like every day started at the barn.

Horses were fine, wet but not needing blankets.  I gave them plenty of hay, nice hot feed, and warmed their water a little.

On my way back to the house driving my little red car I was tailgated by a large truck.  Now please understand I call my truck little; it's a 250 4x4 but "she" is little to me!  so this was at least a 350 from what I could see of the hubs, before it got so close I could no longer see them. As it got closer and closer to my little red car the only thing I ended up seeing was his RAM logo that was ramming up the back end of my car.  NO he never touched my car, but he was so close all I could see was his grill.  Likely so close he didn't see the finger I was putting in the air.

I have NO tolerance when it comes to an idiot driving a large truck when in fact I could have tapped my brakes and he would have hit me.   I can't stand it when ANYONE drives SO close to the car in front of them, but especially if one has the ability to stop so much more quickly than the aggressor and in this case my lovely little old insight weighing less than 1000 lbs can stop on a dime compared to a heavier truck like that one.

Having said all that... in order for me to keep life easy at the barn I needed more extruded fat for the horses so 4 bags of 25% weigh a little much for my old car so I drove my little 250 into town and got the feed on the way into work.   Dressed almost like a girl climbing up into the truck, the 10 ply's hum along with the drum of the diesel engine, but I can see so much more sitting high in the old truck.  While I rarely ever drive the truck without the horses behind me which add about 9,000 lbs, or workers sharing the front cab, making shifting gears fun!, today I was alone and no reason to worry about everyone else only rain, slick streets, getting my feed, and making sure I got to work on time.

But I see how this idiot was in a trance being behind the wheel of an incredible machine.  I enjoyed the power, the ease at which my old truck drives, much less a nice new model like this guy had.  The power and view go to your brain and you forget how fragile the human in front of you in a lesser protected little car is being subject to your auto pilot mentality.  I'm not saying EVERY large truck driving 300 lb+ over compensating man is an absolute idiot while behind the wheel, but history and their actions continue and continues to say just as much.

I wish I could tolerate such actions, I wish I could tolerate such idiotic behavior, I wish I had the tolerance and not the anger it brings out in me.  Trying to learn, trying to accept, trying to tolerate such beings in my world.

Monday, January 12, 2015

a daily read...


One of the things I miss in society today is humility.

I am in need of knowing more humility.  I am taking a step back from society and what it expects of everything.  I have forgotten more than I am likely to learn at this stage of the game.  I have lost more than I am likely to find.  I am less today that I was years ago, but I intend to be happy.  I intend to enjoy life, love whatever I do, and immerse myself in DIRT.

This year I start from the ground up! literally! Adding nitrogen fixers (perennials) to the estate...
My plan for the year is to work hard physically, relax more mentally, and enjoy life spiritually.

I am trying to let go of the constant, what's next, what's your next step, what is that step going to cause, cause and effect as it all swirls in my brain all too fast, as that much is all too often.

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Animal care with no electricity~

Life has been COLD, cold, and even colder. 
We have had several days of below freezing and below zero weathered days.  The weather took us to the norm of only 4 zones farther north, but still we have running water at the barn!

I can't say it's all me! but... I am the one that maintains it ... everyone else claims they can't reach the cut off valve.  Everyone else claims it's too hard!   WHAT EVER!  So now I pick one day a week to empty, clean, and refill the troft with fresh water.  The top of my 3200 gallon cistern is FROZEN!!!!! and not about to thaw anytime soon, but the bottom, where I have it insulated several times, using several types of insulation, is doing just fine!

Still having trouble with my lap top so I still can't say when I will be back etc...  But I think of blogging all the time, even more so now that I can't!   Isn't that always the case? You can't so you want it that much more!

Tis the same with my eating habits,  While I have lost the weight I wanted GONE... I now have a vacation in the works that well would make anyone think twice about what goes in their mouths and directly on their ASSS.... So ...   Who knows what I will end up deciding but what ever I decide I'll post it here for the world to poke fun, and see where I am failing, and where I might succeed. 

My life is a journey, so come along for the ride if you DARE<

Friday, January 2, 2015

New Day New Year,

Once again life is great but my lap top has me blocked from this blog.  I can only access from a strange computer and have not been able to change my password due to a two step process that is NOT working for me not ever!

Life is great,
Animals are healthy
Rain, cold and no sun but just fine... I'm curled up with a permaculture book and making notes in the margins as I go along for later references.

I have plans in the works for a small trip with family.
I have plans in the works for a second patio lay at the barn although with the trip this makes the patio a longer time off....
I have plans in the works for a hay container to be delivered but this too will cost money but is a priority in my barn life.  My temporary barn usage is bound to stop at any moment.

Life is good, full and busy.. I hope to have my computer back and running properly ASAP till then I have no idea if or when I will ever get a post in.

stay tuned... and sign up for auto notification of post if you can.

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

A ticking time bomb... ?

How do you possibly prepare for leaving your animals, knowing at all times one is a ticking time bomb?

1. I do my prep. pre measure all their food, all their supplements, put them in am bags and pm bags.  I then take photos of where and what is going on.

IF I were leaving today! I would let the babysitter know... don't try to drive up this crazy muddy drive in the rainy slosh of a right away.  Just park here like I do and WALK in... I would then supply the babysitter with a walking stick I use myself! ha ha ha...

My feed is AM in the LEFT metal trash can in the barn... and in the AM trash can Sweet Pea's feed is the larger amount bagged on the left and Navarre's is on the right. 

NIGHT feeds need oil... the oil is in the right trash can with the feed... 

I would also warn the babysitter I have pest... specifically a raccoon that loves to get in my food so please make sure to refasten the cans as I left them. 
My visiting raccoon has yet to figure out these little fasteners...

I would also make sure the babysitter knows were the siczzers are for cutting into a bail of hay... as so!
 My next thing would be to make sure you put the doors back as you found them, (as I generally change my door configuration depending on what I am doing in the extra stall... So sometimes it is to one side and other times the doors are in the middle.
and I would make sure the locking system was highlighted... ha ha ha...

I would also give a visual as to where the hay would go... I love my hay to go as far down the dry (mud) lot as possible but in weather as this ... just get it off the mats and not into the gravel... as so ...

I would also provide them with all my numbers...
not going to post that one! ha ha ha... but this is just for starters...

Life is good
and even GREAT if you can plan ahead... not that it always works...

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Cold and Cheating!

In all the freezing around here I forgot to tell the world.

I left my lights on Wednesday after taking feed and water to the horses.  No problem I thought... I've got the truck.  I turn the key on to allow the start now light to warm up, I go to disconnect the trailer while that is going on.  Not so easy, never is... plate, block, key, lock... crank... and sure enough it's frozen together.  So I go back to the cab to start the truck, thinking I'll allow it to warm while I get out the hammer to knock this thing off... Krrr Krrrrrr Krrrr Krrr Krr kr k ..... Oh what the heck!

So I run in the house YELLLLLL for the husband... and he allows me to take his truck!
I get to work JUST on time...
No Car
No Truck and the world to care for in the morning!
So I start making my plan in my head, perfecting it all day, my times, my route (I only ever make one big circle) my list, making sure I don't forget something I'll have to do next week etc....

Open the car hood this morning to jump the car first... ? NO OIL cap on my engine!   What the heck... ok so one more thing ... route, stop, list etc...  Take other off silver car in basement!

Uncover water insulation box
hook ups, two nozzles, clean water trough, put out hay, do feed so it can soak, and allow them to graze.. and then... take a breath while it is filling up.

( Car still running so the battery is charging)
Auto Zone, cap!
Flax seed oil, Southern States,
Bird feed, small  and medium... (no medium it had expired) I was in a great mood when I walked in but by the time I walked out I wanted to strangle the woman!
Horse Shop (Balsam Quarter)  didn't have what I needed...
Airport exit, out to Mills River to the BEST FEED Store in Western North Carolina.... didn't have gloves in my size but got three bags of feed.

I had to drive to another bird store I couldn't find it! but what caught my eye was Neo ... Neo Burrito oh I desperately wanted to rush in get a veggie burrito and go on my way.  But if I was going to cheat on my diet I at least wanted to do it going out with someone else....

So I rushed to the second bird store ( I  had passed looking at the two new buildings on both sides of the old place.  They too did not have what I needed but they were nice about it! mater of fact and fine! I got a few things and rushed home.

I asked Jerry if we could go out for mexican! I love mexican foods, He wanted to finish watching what he was into (Tennis) and I took a nap.

1. I rarely take a nap
2. Even when I am desperate to take a nap I can rarely get relaxed enough to do so.
Not today! I fell asleep and the MD called.  I fell right back to sleep and one of Jerry's customers called!   OGM... I just want to sleep....
I didn't realize it was time to eat dinner, I forced myself up, and we went to our favorite dive... I got a shrimp salad...it was so much better than I expected it to be, I didn't finish the salad and I didn't bring it home as that was my cheat for the week.

So we shall see if I gain weight from the one meal.  Or if like 2 weeks ago if I just don't loose any.

I've lost 10lbs but that is about it.
I am not starving. I am a little hungry more often but I just eat when I feel like I need to, given the chance.   So I have almost lost all the weight I put on going to Nashville to care for Mother.  My clothes almost fit better.

My leg feels much better!
Now I just need to start getting back on the bike to exercise again.
Cheating can be fun when shared! ha ha ha...

My love to the world