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Monday, January 26, 2015

Our Parents

My parents, your parents, and all parents... they all do the same thing!
They do the best they can with what they have.  

Why does everyone blame their parents?
No I'm not saying my parents were perfect, no one's parents are, but they all put one foot in front of the other and do the best they can while more likely they were losing their minds.   You likely have no idea what your parents were going through as you were growing up.  Money, jobs, marriage, love, religion, social norms, social expectations, you likely have no grasp of the details.

Some how with their own luggage/ baggage/ scares or whatever you call it; they did their best to expose you to the world.  It may not have been the world of your choosing, but it was the world to which they had access.  Are you able to expose your children to a restaurant where each person has a private waiter? Are you able to fly your children around the world first class? Are you able to provide your children with anything and everything the disire?  No Not 99% of the world!

BUT you can teach your children what each utensil is for if they ever get the chance of eating at a restaurant with individual waiters.  You can teach your children HOW to act and take in a new situation.  YOU can make sure your children read what ever subject is your child's passion at the moment.  YOU can be a good example only by doing your best.  

If like many your parents didn't teach you how to act by example you can follow and learn from examples of people who are successful in areas of your love, attraction or passion in life.

The point is your parents do NOT make your choices for you.  They either showed you a path or they were not able to, don't EXPECT them to do more than they can; only YOU have to power to make your choices from today out, not your parents, friends or family.

EVERY choice YOU make determines your future NOT the choices of your parents... they did the best they could

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

TOO much going on.

Yes I know I am always on the go; in the middle of a project; and about to pull my hair out.

Yesterday was the straw that broke the camels back!

List of projects. 
1. deck railing... ( I have enough up to keep codes off my back) but not completed.
     a. needs 5 more file cabinets, and needs to be painted once again.
     b. brackets / mountings to be finished as well
     c. the chairs and table need to be painted to match.

2. Concrete patio for dry footing for the horses.
     a.  needs another 2/3rds done, I only have 1/3 completed and while it is great it is NOT done and not the look I am going to settle for.
     b. While I can more easily drive up to the barn I need to pour a concrete RAMP up to the pavers so the truck doesn't displace anything!

3. NOW the Container...
     a. needs to be painted with cool sealant.
     c. needs support on roof so I can plant things to over hang the container and HIDE it!
     d. needs trees from the property cut and placed next to the container till the plants work their way DOWN to the ground for hiding!!!
     e. I may plant hops (hops grows 20' a year and comes back IF mulched over winter)
     f.  I will also NEED shipping pallets to put on the ground and on the walls of the container ALSO for air ventilation.  So I will be on the look out for these as cheaply as possible.  

4. Lets not forget the normal mulching, caring for plants and trees already in place, the horses (getting in hay, feed, and medical care cost) , the compost piles, and trying to keep the place looking from looking like white trash...

SO like everyone else MONEY is a major issue right now and deck and patio will have to wait.  My next step is finding roof fans for the container.   I can't put hay in it if there is no circulation. 
WHY... because no matter how great your hay is it has a little moisture in it and will still dry out as time goes on.  My plan is to make the container perfect for hay and then start back on the other projects. 

While all my plans were to be around food this year for the estate it is NOT going to happen....
I have canceled all my plant orders and requested a refund so I can spend all my money on the container and making life easier for me over winters and safer for the horses.

Just yesterday I had someone offer to help around the barn.  I love having help but right now I can't have someone around that is not horse savvy that I am going to be more worried about than what ever project is on hand. 

So I have said NO.
I am saying no to myself and anything else till I get this thing DONE! Life is too short to worry as much as I am at this moment having SO MANY fires going at the same time.  I have got to get this under control before I can walk another step!


Monday, January 19, 2015


There are two kinds of talent, man-made talent and God-given talent. With man-made talent you have to work very hard. With God-given talent, you just touch it up once in a while.   by Pearl Baily

At this later stage in my life I choose to focus on my God-given talents and stay simple and in the dirt.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Tolerance... ? ... wish I had more!

This morning like every day started at the barn.

Horses were fine, wet but not needing blankets.  I gave them plenty of hay, nice hot feed, and warmed their water a little.

On my way back to the house driving my little red car I was tailgated by a large truck.  Now please understand I call my truck little; it's a 250 4x4 but "she" is little to me!  so this was at least a 350 from what I could see of the hubs, before it got so close I could no longer see them. As it got closer and closer to my little red car the only thing I ended up seeing was his RAM logo that was ramming up the back end of my car.  NO he never touched my car, but he was so close all I could see was his grill.  Likely so close he didn't see the finger I was putting in the air.

I have NO tolerance when it comes to an idiot driving a large truck when in fact I could have tapped my brakes and he would have hit me.   I can't stand it when ANYONE drives SO close to the car in front of them, but especially if one has the ability to stop so much more quickly than the aggressor and in this case my lovely little old insight weighing less than 1000 lbs can stop on a dime compared to a heavier truck like that one.

Having said all that... in order for me to keep life easy at the barn I needed more extruded fat for the horses so 4 bags of 25% weigh a little much for my old car so I drove my little 250 into town and got the feed on the way into work.   Dressed almost like a girl climbing up into the truck, the 10 ply's hum along with the drum of the diesel engine, but I can see so much more sitting high in the old truck.  While I rarely ever drive the truck without the horses behind me which add about 9,000 lbs, or workers sharing the front cab, making shifting gears fun!, today I was alone and no reason to worry about everyone else only rain, slick streets, getting my feed, and making sure I got to work on time.

But I see how this idiot was in a trance being behind the wheel of an incredible machine.  I enjoyed the power, the ease at which my old truck drives, much less a nice new model like this guy had.  The power and view go to your brain and you forget how fragile the human in front of you in a lesser protected little car is being subject to your auto pilot mentality.  I'm not saying EVERY large truck driving 300 lb+ over compensating man is an absolute idiot while behind the wheel, but history and their actions continue and continues to say just as much.

I wish I could tolerate such actions, I wish I could tolerate such idiotic behavior, I wish I had the tolerance and not the anger it brings out in me.  Trying to learn, trying to accept, trying to tolerate such beings in my world.

Monday, January 12, 2015

a daily read...


One of the things I miss in society today is humility.

I am in need of knowing more humility.  I am taking a step back from society and what it expects of everything.  I have forgotten more than I am likely to learn at this stage of the game.  I have lost more than I am likely to find.  I am less today that I was years ago, but I intend to be happy.  I intend to enjoy life, love whatever I do, and immerse myself in DIRT.

This year I start from the ground up! literally! Adding nitrogen fixers (perennials) to the estate...
My plan for the year is to work hard physically, relax more mentally, and enjoy life spiritually.

I am trying to let go of the constant, what's next, what's your next step, what is that step going to cause, cause and effect as it all swirls in my brain all too fast, as that much is all too often.

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Animal care with no electricity~

Life has been COLD, cold, and even colder. 
We have had several days of below freezing and below zero weathered days.  The weather took us to the norm of only 4 zones farther north, but still we have running water at the barn!

I can't say it's all me! but... I am the one that maintains it ... everyone else claims they can't reach the cut off valve.  Everyone else claims it's too hard!   WHAT EVER!  So now I pick one day a week to empty, clean, and refill the troft with fresh water.  The top of my 3200 gallon cistern is FROZEN!!!!! and not about to thaw anytime soon, but the bottom, where I have it insulated several times, using several types of insulation, is doing just fine!

Still having trouble with my lap top so I still can't say when I will be back etc...  But I think of blogging all the time, even more so now that I can't!   Isn't that always the case? You can't so you want it that much more!

Tis the same with my eating habits,  While I have lost the weight I wanted GONE... I now have a vacation in the works that well would make anyone think twice about what goes in their mouths and directly on their ASSS.... So ...   Who knows what I will end up deciding but what ever I decide I'll post it here for the world to poke fun, and see where I am failing, and where I might succeed. 

My life is a journey, so come along for the ride if you DARE<

Friday, January 2, 2015

New Day New Year,

Once again life is great but my lap top has me blocked from this blog.  I can only access from a strange computer and have not been able to change my password due to a two step process that is NOT working for me not ever!

Life is great,
Animals are healthy
Rain, cold and no sun but just fine... I'm curled up with a permaculture book and making notes in the margins as I go along for later references.

I have plans in the works for a small trip with family.
I have plans in the works for a second patio lay at the barn although with the trip this makes the patio a longer time off....
I have plans in the works for a hay container to be delivered but this too will cost money but is a priority in my barn life.  My temporary barn usage is bound to stop at any moment.

Life is good, full and busy.. I hope to have my computer back and running properly ASAP till then I have no idea if or when I will ever get a post in.

stay tuned... and sign up for auto notification of post if you can.