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Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Well Today I start a new venture

I am a person who loves her family dearly, sometimes too much for today’s society. I say this because I have a deep need to know what is going on. If the family gets together, I want to know who cooked? What did they prepare? What was the conversation; down to what everyone was wearing. I rarely get to see my family these days as I am a little farther away from the group than most. I believe this all comes from the fact by the time I was 5 my parents moved walking distance from my maternal grandparents. My mothers brother quickly moved in on one side and my mothers sister followed on the other. I was literally surrounded by family. Family that was allowed to mentor me, discipline me, or encourage me all my days on the family property. I often joke of how if I sneezed at school and my parents knew I had a cold before I got home. Which was almost truth to the letter, as most of my teachers taught my mother, Aunt, Uncle, and every cousin back 5 or 6 removed…

Life for me was a fish bowl, I was the only one of my generation for years and even after “the twins” came along for some reason I was a little more looked after than they as the family thought they had each other and I was somehow in the world alone. I have commented to the family how “the twins” didn’t change my world. My world fell apart when Aunt Sheri and Uncle Steve had Danny; there was no dress up next door. Not six months later Aunt Gale had Zach and my world was no longer mine. I was the spoiled one! The center of all for generations back, but this also kept me in that controlled environment. No matter what I did, a family member was there OR someone knew who my family was. They never realized even when I traveled to Martin TN as a teenager, how I couldn’t get away from the strong influence my family had on me. The first lady I met at Martin… OH I know your grandfather… Cecil Lain. I was mortified in front of peers I had only known for months…but home all the same.

We as a family did the old fashion things, we got together with immediate family at least one Sunday of the month but especially on Holidays of ANY sort. We got together with family back generations at least once a year; back to my great, great, great Aunts that to this day tickle my mind and inspire me because of their strength and devotion to learning, life existence, and beautiful expressions of being happy. My paternal grandparents were also a constant in my life, although the lived in another state my parents made every effort for us to travel once a month to see them if not every other weekend when afforded financially.

What started this little change in pace? Well as with everyone else money is a little tight, and my focus on developing the estate is on hold; I will do little by little; but my focus is making sure our business survives as do my thoughts to my family, friends, and influential people of my life. I don’t have a home made green Formica table to share coffee, biscuits/toast, jelly, with the café pouring sugar container, or my napkins tucked in the corner near the wall, the small plastic cup with just enough milk for the days talk over coffee. I am hundreds of miles away from the next generation, I am hundreds of miles away from the life I had. While I don’t want it back, I refuse to not learn from it and pass on the wisdom shared with me over that slick, speckled, Formica covered door made into the best table I ever sat at!

My day today started out as normal, except the night sweats didn’t go away. I moved down stairs to the sofa, heard Teallie scream so I napped as much as I could with her on my chest so she would not pick till she was bleeding. As funny as it sounds I dreamed of Nannie all night, it was the lingering smell of the beans and cornbread I made yesterday. As you can see above I cooked my beans more like my Pawpaw liked them, with lots of soup (for my cornbread, of course) So really I was up most of the night, but was determined to change this blog into something others would want to read instead of just a note or two. It is amazing what smells can do to you, I shall post about my Nannie tomorrow, as my dreams, thoughts, and breathing went to Potatoes, Clothes Lines, Talks, and Shoes. You will have to stay tuned!
So on my way to the barn grabbed the camera to take snap shots of my daily drive to the barn. There is so much in the short 4 miles to the barn I decided to document it and write on each as time passes.

My trip to the barn took well over an hour because of all the little things people could miss. My drive to the barn each morning starts from the back door. Rarely is there NOT fog rolling off the distant mountain, it rolls much like the wall of fog that blankets San Francisco each night, but here the spectacle is morning and often flanked by the sun rise. Something I will have to learn to photo, as I am not as good as Jerry with a camera, but I’m no grandmother Goins either. She would cut your head off no matter how simple the camera.


  1. My plan is to visit Nannie Friday morning and I will take my laptop, show her the pictures, read your stories and watch the tears trickle down her cheek....

  2. green table...perhaps a few cookies tucked close to those napkins...biscuits....pancakes with home made syrup....the days of walking down the road to get there....I hope Emma has those moments with mom, Bill and you (through skype). The smells are endless and the memories make the present more barable.