Ok, so I'm sure all you horse people are smarter than me, but this has never come up in conversation and I've never been told of it, so I am sharing with anyone who will listen.

So what I learned on my wired ride Saturday, I can actually control which way my horse freaks out!

Yes I said it! Call me crazy but it helps me figure out what is more dangerous, her freaking out into on coming traffic , into a mailbox ( metal with jagged edges), off a cliff (around here ? no guard rails most of the time) or my favorite... into a road sign.

All of these are only some of the larger visual issues I have to worry about when those motorcycles, dump trucks, or school buses are headed for me or better yet coming from behind me.

The control comes from ME choosing WHICH EYE Sweet Pea sees the moving item with.

Yes! If I am riding down the road and the noise is behind me... I'm constantly checking curbs, signs, mailboxes and anything else that can hurt me or my animals.  So with NO issues I have a noise behind me I leg Sweet Pea to bend, push Navarre into the ditch BUT look at the moving thing behind me with her LEFT eye... not her right!   With her left once she sees it; it never leaves her vision again, she can watch it pass her with no huge issues.

If she sees the moving "car" with her left eye she is going to RUN Jump what ever...  right! away from it !

If she sees it with her Left eye... no matter what I do to control it she is going to jump left RUN forward and no telling what else as it comes up on her faster.  Throwing her rear into on coming traffic, and trying to keep it in her site she will spin, turn and yank Navarre around uncontrollably till it is gone.

I find the support reign is very important when it comes to a car passing me near other objects like a sign, mailbox or ? drop off of sorts.  Or the simple hole, glass bottle, old fencing you know all the standards we never see from a car, but all the hazards that could lame my horse in a minute.The support reign is more important to me,than the leg,  because a leg would push her closer to the yellow line.

Normally its all BUT the kitchen sink.

Most women pack everything but the kitchen sink, in my case I'm packing TWO.

With life, with packing, now with camping off the horses... I am always thinking of double duty for anything and everything I spend my money on.  This time it is called the kitchen sink.

One of my major worries for this trip is water.  I am going to be forced to ask people for water along the way.  Having said that, what would I put water in, and it be small enough to carry on the back of a horse? Large enough to hold enough water ( horses drink at least 2 gallons of water a day, with exercise it will be more)   The Kitchen Sink of course.

All ready I have started my serious research on products, bags, tents, rain gear... me and horses... etc...so
I was in REI ( Love that place!) and saw it a 20 liter kitchen sink for camping!   I got one to try, because it is relatively light and folds down to about the size of a breakfast plate.  My little boy is just VERY picky about his water and ? containers?  He hates buckets; I think he hates hitting his head/ eyes drinking out of a bucket.

I rode to the cafe down the mountain today.  Yes the one Wayne suggested to me on Facebook.  It was only 8.8 miles  (17.6 round trip) down the road but it was all I could do because of SEVERAL things...

Really it wasn't that bad, just a lot to take in.

My day started off normal enough, Navarre broke open a hornets nest, so he was bucking, kicking, throwing his head while I was getting stung and trying to stay on, handle Sweet Pea and get out of the curve.  I was only 1/4 mile from the barn and it was a great wake up call!   It's going to be one of those days a little voice in my head started to ramble... those days... a day... not today... yep today for sure!

Not 2 miles away from the barn that metal sound no horse person likes to hear! a shoe... a rear left but only in trot , so we're walking today.  It got a little worse but I walked the rest of the way.

There were a few fits from Sweet Pea, it was just the three Harleys still in my lane buzzzzzing by us and as if we weren't there.  This brought out the whites in her eyes that never went away.  She was wired the rest of the day, yelling for a herd of horses within a mile of finding any down the road.  She was difficult but it wasn't something anyone could blame her for. The good thing to remember as I mention all this buzzzing , is rarely are there Harleys on the road in January.  Goldwings on occasion with all their electrical gear, butt warmers, hand warmers and plugs for anything else you can imagine; but no deep sounding glaring shinny monsters called a Harley.

Poor Sweet Pea I was making her life a little difficult today!   I took away her lead mare status, and was riding Navarre as lead horse, this alone was enough to upset her beyond repair.  But on my trip I will have to switch who is carrying the pack and who I ride from day to day so neither is worn out from the weight the pack animal will have to carry!  It is different for a horse to carry an object that keeps no balance and packing  it is an art I will have to learn.

Today was only proof that I STINK at packing an animal!   I packed lunch for the horses, a 1/2 bail of hay, lead ropes, the sink for testing purposes, knife, etc... lots of tools ... today it was just STUFF, for weight, and practice.    GOOD THING I'M Practicing this months ahead.    I have a LOT not just a lot but a LLLLOOOOOTTTTT to learn.

Hay fell off, down the road only one more thing to add to the list.  But the horses were perfect! Standing not 3 feet off the highway unpacking, re packing, I was concentrating so hard I never saw the guy walking up to me.
He asked if he could help, and I took him up on his offer.  If you want to help you can keep that horse from eating grass!   He's diabetic and I can't do both.  The guys name was Zach, his wife's name was Amber and they had two little children, one in diapers.  So after I got Sweet Pea settled again ( I was hoping) I offered to put his kids on Navarre.    I said thank you so much, he stated that he didn't do anything!   Oh yea as if someone watching your children as you repair something is nothing!   You did me a HUGE favor... thanks so much.

As I was pulling off, a nice man and his grandson were walking down the road to us, each with a shirt full of apples.  Oh Thank you but they can't have them! I know..it almost sounds abusive! but all too true!  It sparked questions and then we exchanged stories as I stood in the middle of the road as cars passed us all quiet and slow.  His three horses ran up to meet us ( wanting their share of the apples no doubt) as we just chatted.    It was so nice, this is exactly what I love doing, meeting new people, each of these were helping and sharing.  This is what life is about! In that respect is was a GREAT DAY!

People were amazing today!  99% of road travelers today were so nice, slowing down, waving, waking up the kids in the back seat, snapping pictures of us ( if ANYONE has a photo of us... can you send it to me Please!) .  I actually had to flag a few of them to pass me etc... and today crossing a wooden bridge the cars in both directions actually WAITED for me!

I tied the horses up at the cafe, Sweet Pea called out the entire time I was there.

The ride home was hard, because I rode Sweet Pea!   She was so wired it was exhausting, but Navarre needed to be on the curb / in the grass and I figured I could handle it.  I did, but I don't want to have to do that all the time.    I know these days will happen on the trip as well so may as well get it down pat as much as I can.

a perfect end to the day... was Jerry took me out to dinner at a new place~  Thanks to my lovely Step-Daughter Gypsy!   Love you ! Thank you!   it was PERFECT!

short version.
found fold able container for water.
hard days ride.

Next post.
I figured out some things with traffic and horses freaking! Stay Tuned! I'm happy to share what I have learned.

Ok.. tired of it!

I made my first GOAL list just out of high school and within a short time I had almost everything marked off my list.

I then created another, again I quickly went through it except ONE thing from the previous list.

I have created a mere two more list, and at my age the name of the list has changed, yep... it is now called my bucket list.

All my years I have that ONE thing that keeps haunting me,   I'm tired of it! I will not live in regret!

So... with all the strikes against me I've got to get it done.
I can't take a month off of work as needed for my trip.
I am not even sure if I can work it out to travel one full week at a time.
I have two horses to worry about, one having extreme issues with health, but if he can ... I can...

So this WINTER... YES Winter, I am going to start my travel on horse back from Asheville back to Joelton!

It will have to be winter... as this is slower time at all three of my jobs... is the only time of the year Navarre is allowed to graze on grass ( only a little). But we will make it work.

Winters here have been lighter as of late, although more wet as well, but ... my ancestors did it why can't I? We have allowed ourselves to be too soft! Life is not suppose to be SOOOO easy all the time, not that it is, but we do tend to make it harder than it has to be; by allowing the fast pace of social expectations into our lives.  I enjoy the slow walk on horseback, and this may just be my best adventure yet.  I'll keep you posted of my progress. ?

I am planning..
I am hoping
I am willing
I am ? crazy... but I've got to get this one thing OFF my list ... then I can go on with the rest of my items in peace! besides I'm getting a little old to allow this one to sit there

Life is too short!
I have always lived my life to the fullest, and this weight has got to go.
Planning is fun! doing this will ... Hurt! oh it is going to be SOOOOOO cold!

Any suggestions welcome!
Any Help welcome!

To Do List for the day!

Major shipping today... Our newest item was just released to a private waiting list.  ( I hate these days... ) So my living room is full of boxes, can't get to my front door with out stacking boxes out of the way.  

Smaller boxes are in my office up stairs so I have to do the shipping on them and carry them down my deadly (not to code on angles) staircase.  Jerry has put some wonderful grips on them but never fails! I fall all the time.  Can't wait till I get even older!... 

I've got my two kids this morning, then to the B&B, do breakfast... small numbers today, but many rooms to clean... THREE horses mid day, skip, feed, and check on illnesses... Cat mid day... SHOWER... then back to B&B for more cleaning... To my horses, ride Navarre up the mountain.. THREE horses for evening, put out,  clean stalls, and prep for next morning... 

It will be past dark before I get home from all my work today BUT the time with horses is like getting paid for play time.  While it is physically demanding, requires I respect my schedule,  I have chosen something that keeps me in shape, I get to see the sun rise and set with my favorite smell, I get to experience the morning due and the evening fogs roll in. 

HORSES... who could ask for much more?   making a little money off your passion THAT my friends is what I call life! 

Copan Ruins... The City, not artifacts.

Copan the city, is a small town. While I could have walked the entire town in a morning’s hour, Jerry was not up and our agreement was I wasn’t to stray very far, to stay with in our radio distance. So with in a block of town central was my only morning playground. Thankfully market was within that area! I enjoy getting up and walking towns before the rest of the world gets up! Locals don’t expect someone on vacation to be out so early, so it works for me. I sat, listened and watched the locals greet each other, all of Central America seems to be such a friendly lot of people, you show respect, they give it back. 

I have no skills when it comes to the Spanish Language, but was lucky enough- generally I am-- to find someone who spoke English. And he just happen to be the town supplier of my favorite fruit! Laecha? I can not find this word in any dictionary to spell it correctly, but is sounds very close to leche which is milk. Walking the market here was not of my best interest, as it was small, dark and had too many hidden areas for trouble so I sat outside and waited for a large hotel to open so I could get a cappuccino. I sat with my coffee, ate my power bar, watched people clean the streets, picking up trash, sweeping, then wetting with what ever water they had. It is usually a dirty water with no other purpose left except to cut down on the daily dust from the streets.

My favorite foods of the entire trip were consumed in Copan! One more thing I didn’t expect but enjoyed. It took us an hour from the time we ordered to the time we got our food, but it was cooked in front of us on an open pit. It was not only enjoyable and relaxing to watch all the actions of the place it was frankly impressive! As our cook stoked the fire, our server served others while carrying things on her head from table to table, even up the stairs.

The restaurant was not a full block from the Hotel, it was… Nia Lolas, where no one speaks English, but they do have menu’s in both languages, so you point to one and they point to the Spanish version. We ask if their water was pura/ purified and they said yes for ice etc… we still drank out of bottles except the alcohol we ordered; this was one of our few drink splurges.

Honduras.

Everyone dreams of a different type of vacation, while some think only of the beach, others the mountains, I dream of a vacation, or better yet a lifestyle, where time is not the issue, where people do what they need to; so they can do what they want the rest of the day. Does such a place really exist? Only on vacation where others do the things you have to, so you can do what ever you want.

Jerry and I normally go to a place once and mark it off our list, not to return, only to look back at our memories, pictures and notes, this time we used one of our favorite places as a home base to do several other things on our list… go to Copan, Honduras and climb an active volcano; with no restrictions of getting as close as your own body will allow to the molten lava.

On our first trip to Guatemala we stayed in Antigua, Panza Verde Hotel and Restaurant …and to this day it is top of the list, but the need for such a romantic place with the most expensive food was not what we needed. We needed peace and quiet, time to relax, and a place to settle into. This time we choose a hotel middle of the road cost wise, Quinta de la Flores… but a favorite in my mind in that it was spacious and quiet! While each room was full, Friday night we rarely crossed paths with other guest, only to eat, or catch a cab.

While Antigua was our home base as I called it, Honduras, Copan Ruins were our main goal for the trip. We had our bags locked up in Antigua and took only what we needed for the trip, in our little back packs… got up long before the sun, and took a van into Honduras. In the van we got lucky we were the ONLY TWO people in the van, this allowed Jerry to lay in the front bench and sleep, how, I have no idea. I was having a hard time just sitting up straight. Laws are different where ever you go, but there are no laws that say a vehicle in Guatemala or Honduras have to have lights/ functional lights I should say! So on several occasions our van would be IN the ON coming traffic lane get over into the correct travel lane and suddenly a metal wall was in front of us. 18 wheelers with NO LIGHTS what so ever. Not to mention the people on bicycles, or walking, and animals of all sizes in the road, all around 3 am in the morning? What are people thinking?

We got to the boarder, and frankly I was worried, but our driver was so well known… we filled out NO paperwork, paid our fees, got our stamp!!! HE stamped our passports while the woman ate her breakfast, and he dropped us at our hotel! Don’t expect the same! There are 6 windows for paperwork… This guy has driven from Antigua to this Honduras Boarder for 2 years EVERY DAY! Everyone greeted him, arms waved, words exchanged (that I didn’t understand) and horns honked every few feet.

Living quarters appeared to be somewhat worse than most of Guatemala BUT Copan is not a major city and few tourist make it there. “We’re not in Kansas anymore” … was Jerry’s quote. To my surprise… our Hotel, Yat Belam, was FAR beyond what I expected. Air Conditioning, a fridge, cable, movies, drying rack for clothes, private balcony, enough room to sleep 4 or 6, sound proofed windows with UV protection, public outdoor living room with books, sofas etc. Nice place! And GREAT Cappuccino; best of the entire trip!

The ruins are something that will take me weeks to express! Of the Mayan ruins this one is on the top of my list. We practically had the place to our selves, we ran into less than 10 other tourist.

Wonderful day.

the day started with only the sun, wind and sound of birds. our accomidations are wonderful. i got up and got started on an issue with work i have yet to resolve, but hoping to soon, the customer is fine but i dont like unfinished business. i worked on it for 45 minutes and then walked for a cup of coffee which i relaxed and took 30 minutes to sip on and enjoy everything around me. breathing is about as much as i wanted to do. people watching as the locals walk to work, school and get ready for the touriest to invade their beautiful city.

at home jerry and i pass each other, never eating at the same time, so we rarely share a table. while on vacation we get to talk about the day before, hours before, hold hands and enjoy the company of the one we love. it is not just work work work.

we ate, and walked the town together, looking for the accents we want so much in our own home in years to come.

i am in because i am saving my energy for the next few days of hiking coban - copan

i can only hope everyone at home is good. much love to you all.

if you have never ventured into central america, you really must at some point, the people are warm, welcoming, and eager to learn or teach, in my case it is teach!

again, no caps, no spell check due to the computer keys being in different places as my fingers do what they are used to. please do not think it is this bad every day

Rush of the Holiday!

While everyone else is rushing around, worried about having all the normally forgotten last minute items, my life is as normal and steady as any other day. We are NOT traveling to our families for the Holiday, and not even preparing any large meal for us to share. I am saving my calories for exotic foods later in the year, and I am not sure of Jerry’s reasoning. 

I took the longer way around to and from the barn today as I was afraid to get into the lines that are regular the day before Thanksgiving. There is a nice little farm store on Sugar Hollow, that provides the area with all the free range turkeys, and any other meat you prefer for the season. But with the killing, plucking and cooling of turkeys that gobbled just yesterday, people were sure to be lined up to get their lbs ordered.

It is nice knowing where your food came from, how it was raised, and how it was humanly put to rest. This little store prides it self with Cattle, Sheep, Goats, Chickens, Pigs, and Turkeys.  Note, most of cute animals on the side bar of this blog are of their animals, happy, healthy, loved and cared for. 

Not only does this farm store provide the area with abundance of meat, they have apples of all types, home made cider, soaps, locally made pottery, and other nick nacks that one might like for home and garden and the satisfaction of knowing you are supporting the locals with every purchase.



 
 
 

 

 

This little place is Hickory Nut Gap Farm, in the apple season, provides daily horse rides, petting zoo, games, along with the seasonal pumpkin picking, and corn maze. This place is truly one of those little treasures that if not venturing off the main road one would miss the wonders that could be shared with family and friends.

 
 
 
 
IF you come to the area a trip to Hickory Nut Gap Farm is one that should go on your list. As when NOT the apple season the store is open on Thursdays but if you call ahead a Horse ride (they have a variety of horses for ANY skill level , over 20 horses) can be scheduled on most days except Sunday. This place even has one of the best summer camps around offering horseback riding, clay, drawing, acting classes; it is an amazing place!

Monday, Typical but full of energy

While the morning is cold, wet and the type of weather no one wants to be exposed to; I am full of energy, having had time with an old friend yesterday. One of those friends no matter the length of time, you pick up where you left off, you instantly feel they are a part of your life and you theirs. Connections to home, past, present and future. The high of sharing new experiences together and the general sense of just being happy. While the weather was no better yesterday with our visit, it did not dampen our walk, talks, and venturing out into Asheville.

Troy and I just drove around the major roads, so he would have a feel of the land. We then took in a meal at my favorite restaurant; Salsa's, the locally owned Mexican Caribbean style food that can NOT be describe in the English Language. The spices that run through each dish, the flavors mixed you never dreamt of putting together, there is nothing standard about this favorite eatery! Nothing standard at all! Not food, drink or atmosphere, a place to get away and into something different, and that we did.

A drive to my other favorite place, the Grove Park Inn. While historic to the area and the blue bloods of days past, it is a marvel to me with their advanced green roof top. From the main building to the outdoor hot tub is a living roof top to be surpassed by no other in the South East. Not just the norm of sedum and grasses but Trees, Waterfalls and walk ways are on this roof, something I wanted to share with Troy sense he works for a company who's home country has many advanced roofing as this. I can only hope this is a roof of the future!

Feathers are from Maya my Maximillion Pionus, the berrys from a bush at the barn.

Hope your day is a colorful as mine, regardless of the weather!

People, People and more People.

In the last few months I have had luck!  We have had SEVERAL customers stop by to say hello, several girl friends come into town from a good distance away.  Friends to go out to eat with, and now I have a childhood friend whom is not an hour away, I am hoping to get together with him this weekend. 

I can't believe I have been married for such a long time and Troy and Jerry have never met.  I can't wait!  One more person to show around Asheville and a connection to old family friends, I wish my sisters could be here, as he and they would all love catching up!   We are shooting for Sunday while it is raining ... not that fun but who cares!

The picture has nothing to do with the post except the reminder of sweet smells, sweet times, and a lovely day to be had.

I'll have to post more later.

A week off.

While this is merely a place for me to keep in touch, write my emotions, share my boaring days... the weather as of late has been so pretty I could not force myself to be infront of the computer any more than necessary for work.

Today is only the second day into the average tempatures of November and here we are in the third week!  Today is also the first day of rain in the forcast again.  Only two days of the next 7 are without rain, so I am sure you will hear more of me in this time.

In the days I did not post, I was talking to friends, being outside with the horses, watching a +/- film ( a video/type not a block buster)  being recorded on a nearby farm, I took Navarre out for his very first real trail ride with five other horses.   Planned my garden setting for next year, added manure to my reserve piles at the house for the garden.

I have been busy.  I have not, however been with the camera on my shoulder, this too will change...

While in the past I have never caught up with the days missed, no pictures, no real stories, I hope to start posting ONLY twice a week on average so there is more to share and I am not stuck to a computer on days I could be outside and be creative.

My love to you all!

The Way the Light Guides Us.

This morning started as normal, chilly air, thick, heavy to breath but fresh all the same. The fog was thick and the sun appeared as if being seen through rice paper. The drive to the barn was that of Alice falling through the tunnel to wonderland. Driving into darker areas although well into morning hours, seeing the white wall of fog before me. Few cars on the road, and even less as I turned onto Hollywood up to the barn. The sheep were still as status, the Burrow that protects them stood with ears back and quitely tucked into a cold, protective position. The trash lined the road for pickup so I had I drove even slower through the fog which made everything appear in grays and only the most close things were in slight color. Much like an old black and white photo someone had watercolored only a few leaves on the trees next to my car. With it being a pick up day I was afraid of hitting a dog, a cat, or even a bear so I crept in 2nd gear and made it into the white wall of fog. The fog was so think the wipers were necessary to continue on, but as I approached near the top of the road, to the west side of the mountain it suddenly cleared and appeared as a white ocean below me. I let the horses out after loving on Sweetpea and closed their gate. By the time I got back home the sun was bright, fog was only a thought, and the farmers were humming with their tractors all around me.

It is funny how life has it forces, how we can continue on even with the darkness, rain, fog, or snow. What are the forces that keep you going in your life? or What are the forces that have guided you along the way.

One of my guiding lights in my Nannie... Mable Nadine Knight Lain. One who lost her mother as a young girl, took on as much responsibility as she could with her younger brothers, and tried to be a help to her father who was supporting them all alone. She came from a strong line of women... her mother had an egg business and her own car in a day that was unheard of. Her grandmother was the town midwife although she didn't deliver any of Nannies children. The Nadine came from Nadine Newland... one of her mothers best friends.

Nannie was the real thing, Living with rations like everyone else, working tirelessly while the men were off to war. She was a rivet girl at AVCO a company long gone from the Nashville area, but it once made airplanes/ parts.

Nannie has wonderful stories of she and Miss Juanita going to the movies, riding the bus into Nashville, stories that make her face light up.. The giggles you get when she talks about she and Miss Juanita riding in the rumble seat. These stories and the look on her face always made me think… this was her only time of freedom. While surviving the pain of loosing a mother young, the loss of a younger brother was difficult as well. She was so smart not to marry before her love returned from war, she would have been tied down with a baby and never had this freedom. It made me think…. How much freedom do I want in my life? How much of myself am I willing to cut out of my chest and pack in a box and never be able to see, or feel those things again.
Nannie waited for Cecil to return and after an AWOL he did… They got married! She wore a beautiful brown suite with green around the trim. Life changed. Children are a joy … And Nannie had three, My Mother, Judy Freeman Lain, My Uncle Steve, and My Aunt Gale (yes it is spelled correctly for her)

Nannie and Pawpaw were almost perfect for each other, he was harsh and she was the most softly spoken person anyone can comment on. She never said a harsh word to me only gave me other positive things to focus on. The most harsh thing she ever said to me was… Your not going to meet him looking like that are you? Yes mam I am… and she just shook her head. (you have to know I was covered in horse muck, in a pair of cut off’s and a tee shirt) She did want me to find a man at some point in my life!

All of these thoughts started because I was making beans and corn bread the other day…

How do I see my Nannie? I see her as she was on the celebration of their 50th wedding anniversary. I will never see her any different. Last night I dozed and thought with a fast paced mind, as the smell of cooking beans still lingered in my little house; and made me think of soft worn kitchen towels, that smelled of the sun and wind instead of food. I don’t remember Nannie ever having new kitchen towels. Then my mind raced back to her stove, not very different from mine today, the kitchen cabinets, the Formica covered counter tops.

I would feel the movement of my little bird I was nursing through the night and the racing of my mind would calm. I would ease back into thoughts of Nannie. It’s the smell again, but in my mind it was my often requested skillet fried potatoes, something mother never made for some reason, a hint of onion I thought and then corrected myself, can’t be “the twins will not like that” but that cast iron skillet; it must be the secret to the perfect potatoes with or with out the onions… IF ever something happens Nannie, that skillet is all I want, I’ll make sure you get it she would say, and today it makes the most delicious, perfectly brown, non sticking pan fried potatoes. A true treasure from the past!

The other day it made the perfect family cornbread. A small token Jerry and I will nibble on for the next few days.

It is funny how we all see things differently. I saw Pawpaw as the one that ran around doing everything, but Nannie was the one that was the center hub. Why? Well because no matter what, it was her table I always sat. She was the one always home. It was her table that no one could leave with out eating. Pawpaw was the same but most of his time in the house was shared between his chair at the table and his chair in the living room/TV room. Nannie sat at the table and read the paper from front to back every day.

Nannie was the center hub for the force that kept me sane in the crazy world of teenagers. Well I was well beyond teenage years BUT I was a late bloomer in every aspect of life. Because I was so far behind (due to living in my fish bowl) during times other girls were starting to appreciate parents I was still butting heads with mine. Maybe because in reality Mother and I are so alike we can’t see past our own visions, but Nannie would always give me something else to focus on. Aunt Gale was always my back up! The three of us… really four of us; but Pawpaw would eventually get tired, move to his chair, bark something into the conversation if he felt like it, or would leave to do something with the animals, farm or visit someone.

My coffee addition started at Nannie and Pawpaw’s, although there was always grapefruit juice, milk, coke or sweet tea in the fridge, coffee was the drink of choice, Folgers was their brand. Quite frankly it’s the reason I don’t purchase it today. But I would eat grounds today if I could have one more breakfast club morning with the four of us.

My thoughts danced all night, The first big car I remember them getting… They picked me up at school, we got groceries at Bates Food town. It was new to them, but had stickers all over the dash! It had always been the truck I remembered before that.

The movement of my bird, realizing it’s cold out side the cover I have thrown over me, makes me think of outside, my clothes line, Nannies clothes line, the smell of her towels, the smell of alcohol, her shoes, the way she cut the toes from her old pairs. How I have only in the past few years gotten into wearing pretty shoes, how Nannie was so fascinated by a pair I had on last I went to see her. Are those comfortable? She would ask, no mam. Do they feel good? Not at all, Nannie. She would continue to look at them and I finally asked her… Would you like to try them on? We both just laughed, with a full belly laugh, free to feel, free to react, with out a care in the world.

I have always been able to Laugh and Cry with Nannie I have always had a special place in my heart for her. I LOVE YOU Nannie, I will always love you, and I miss you terribly!

You have always been a guiding light for me. That strong light I knew I could return to for support, guidance or just to talk…

Well Today I start a new venture

I am a person who loves her family dearly, sometimes too much for today’s society. I say this because I have a deep need to know what is going on. If the family gets together, I want to know who cooked? What did they prepare? What was the conversation; down to what everyone was wearing. I rarely get to see my family these days as I am a little farther away from the group than most. I believe this all comes from the fact by the time I was 5 my parents moved walking distance from my maternal grandparents. My mothers brother quickly moved in on one side and my mothers sister followed on the other. I was literally surrounded by family. Family that was allowed to mentor me, discipline me, or encourage me all my days on the family property. I often joke of how if I sneezed at school and my parents knew I had a cold before I got home. Which was almost truth to the letter, as most of my teachers taught my mother, Aunt, Uncle, and every cousin back 5 or 6 removed…

Life for me was a fish bowl, I was the only one of my generation for years and even after “the twins” came along for some reason I was a little more looked after than they as the family thought they had each other and I was somehow in the world alone. I have commented to the family how “the twins” didn’t change my world. My world fell apart when Aunt Sheri and Uncle Steve had Danny; there was no dress up next door. Not six months later Aunt Gale had Zach and my world was no longer mine. I was the spoiled one! The center of all for generations back, but this also kept me in that controlled environment. No matter what I did, a family member was there OR someone knew who my family was. They never realized even when I traveled to Martin TN as a teenager, how I couldn’t get away from the strong influence my family had on me. The first lady I met at Martin… OH I know your grandfather… Cecil Lain. I was mortified in front of peers I had only known for months…but home all the same.

We as a family did the old fashion things, we got together with immediate family at least one Sunday of the month but especially on Holidays of ANY sort. We got together with family back generations at least once a year; back to my great, great, great Aunts that to this day tickle my mind and inspire me because of their strength and devotion to learning, life existence, and beautiful expressions of being happy. My paternal grandparents were also a constant in my life, although the lived in another state my parents made every effort for us to travel once a month to see them if not every other weekend when afforded financially.

What started this little change in pace? Well as with everyone else money is a little tight, and my focus on developing the estate is on hold; I will do little by little; but my focus is making sure our business survives as do my thoughts to my family, friends, and influential people of my life. I don’t have a home made green Formica table to share coffee, biscuits/toast, jelly, with the café pouring sugar container, or my napkins tucked in the corner near the wall, the small plastic cup with just enough milk for the days talk over coffee. I am hundreds of miles away from the next generation, I am hundreds of miles away from the life I had. While I don’t want it back, I refuse to not learn from it and pass on the wisdom shared with me over that slick, speckled, Formica covered door made into the best table I ever sat at!

My day today started out as normal, except the night sweats didn’t go away. I moved down stairs to the sofa, heard Teallie scream so I napped as much as I could with her on my chest so she would not pick till she was bleeding. As funny as it sounds I dreamed of Nannie all night, it was the lingering smell of the beans and cornbread I made yesterday. As you can see above I cooked my beans more like my Pawpaw liked them, with lots of soup (for my cornbread, of course) So really I was up most of the night, but was determined to change this blog into something others would want to read instead of just a note or two. It is amazing what smells can do to you, I shall post about my Nannie tomorrow, as my dreams, thoughts, and breathing went to Potatoes, Clothes Lines, Talks, and Shoes. You will have to stay tuned!

So on my way to the barn grabbed the camera to take snap shots of my daily drive to the barn. There is so much in the short 4 miles to the barn I decided to document it and write on each as time passes.

My trip to the barn took well over an hour because of all the little things people could miss. My drive to the barn each morning starts from the back door. Rarely is there NOT fog rolling off the distant mountain, it rolls much like the wall of fog that blankets San Francisco each night, but here the spectacle is morning and often flanked by the sun rise. Something I will have to learn to photo, as I am not as good as Jerry with a camera, but I’m no grandmother Goins either. She would cut your head off no matter how simple the camera.

Eating CROW, and still taking it day by day.

My day started out normal. The air heavy, wind blowing into the bed from the open window, the roughness of the air as it passes over my shoulder. I want only to cover it more deeply with the bedspread and go back to sleep, the sun is no where to be seen behind the clouds but I can tell by the traffic I had slept late because it was so dark. I’m lucky getting up by 8am is not a crime or one of the things that turns my world upside down. I was sleeping so well … after I survived my night sweats… with my earplugs, eye cover and lavender smell on my sheets.

I got up got the birds out for their breakfast, which is always a mess! But a well deserved treat and a fun time for me to see what each prefers over the other. Even just watching which hand they use, how one is picky about the texture while another could care less. At any rate 9am crept up on me quickly today. I put them all back to their room with natural light on and heat going.

On to the barn.

It wasn’t raining just yet, so I parked at the end of the drive walked up the hill for a little cardio work out to the barn. I was sweating by the time I reached the top, opened the gate allowing the horses to go down the hill at their own pace, and allowing me time to grab a few flakes of hay. I walk down with the hay make sure each flake is placed far enough away from the next so the two horses can eat with out the bother of the other. SweetPea is in on the down side of heat but is not nice when it comes to food, thanks to a previous experience AND Navarre is so food driven he would eat it all if he could.

My walk back up the pasture, closing the first gate, up the hill to the barn, closing the second gate and making sure the third gate is fastened as I crawl through the fence for my walk back down the drive to my little car.

On to the office

AFTER I figure out what I am going to eat for the next few days.
Beans, so cheap, so easy, and I use them in everything till there are no more.
I start to pour them over my hand, and as I feel the beans all I can think about is my maternal grandmother… Nanny … with the water running in her huge country sink washing the beans in a strainer after she had picked out the stones, the bad beans, and the questionable. The aluminum pot they always went into … dented, stained, warped, with a black handle and a black pull on the lid that always laid on the top of the pot as if it once fit.

Today I pick, wash, soak, and put it all in the crock pot with one container of chicken stock I made months ago, and one container of vegetable stock I made weeks ago. I get out my family receipt book and make sure I have everything for the cornbread… the fat from bacon I had to purchase just so I could make cornbread this week. It sits on the counter right now … as the beans will not be done till dinner. I can’t wait for MY house to smell as if I’m walking to my Nanny’s house about to sit at the green Formica table with she and Pawpaw. How life has its wonderful smells… How life has it’s pace… pinto’s and cornbread… cheap, filling, and reminiscent of times I wish I could create… have just created…

While no one is here other than Jerry to share this with,(who doesn't have the same memories) surely you can remember a simple food, a simple time, a great memory to share… tell me!

As I am pondering, taking pictures??? For this post… my phone rings. Olivia Henry it says. Betsy and I have a nice little talk.

On to the Office I kept telling my self.

On to eating crow so I can have a pleasant day.

My life at work consist of being the most stupid animal on the planet. “Sit there and look pretty” someone said to me the other day… The words I wanted to say back are not worth the post but I apparently with out realizing it took out my frustrations on men the rest of the day. So I wrote one who was nice enough, strong enough to call me out on it.

The truth is I don’t want to be a hateful person. I don’t want to be a woman who has to worry about being better and stronger than I really am. But I get so much “crap” and take so much from men whom most probably don’t know the difference between a standard or a Phillips and assume I’m a pet rock of Jerry’s.

Sometimes I wish I didn’t have so much of a roll in a motorcycle business. Sometimes I wish I rode motorcycles and could tell them where to put it. Sometimes I wish I could just tell them how stupid they sound… my car, my boat, my third house……

At least I do have a brain and can put most in their place with simple math, but work is a struggle when you are a woman in a man’s world. While women still only get paid 77 cents on every dollar a man makes… I have to say I know more about K1200’s in general than even a lot of the dealer mechanics that call me for help. But sometimes I wish I didn’t … sometimes I wish I could be the “type” of woman they think I am; being taken care of and pampered all the time.

Instead… I probably do more physical labor than most of these guys. I am what I am; and I’m not stupid, I’m not a pampered woman and I’m not what other women have called me… “a token wife” although sometimes for a weekend vacation , I wish I was, three days of this type of vacation and I'd be ready to get dirty again.

Should I be alarmed at the smell of smoke?

Today is Saturday, but I must back up to yesterday.

Yesterday... Friday was a cold, wet miserable day, but one I got much work done and got to check out the Craft Fair before it closed for the day. The Highlands Craft Fair is at the Conference center down town. I walked, I looked and as normal it was too craftsy for me ... so after making sure I had seen EACH vender I turned around and went to purchase TWO bells I will use for the horses. I came home and went through my nightly chores. Man it was cold last night, and into this morning.

But today, Dark, Dank, and sometimes rainy... I let the horses out, cleans my three buckets/stalls and went out to REI to return a jacket I purchased for Emma but didn't need to give her. (her jacket and Amanda's Jacket were the only things we had in the car when the horses ran away last weekend... I blogged about it... I think)

I returned the jacket, walked around because they were having a fall festival in the town square, got some magazines, a cup of cider, a red velvet cup cake and walked out. Not two feet out the door I dropped my cider with out having ever gotten a smell of it, much less the first sip. Life happens! I did get the eat the cup cake! delecious!

I walked, I then stopped to get paper for the office on my way home. Got nasty shoes, nasty jacket and went to get the horses in ... same routien... food, water, and hay. I left after checking Sweetpea's blanket and Jerry called to see if he could go down town with me. I was shocked... frankly I was stuned into a silence but somehow got out YES, I'd love for you to go.

I got gas and picked him up on the way back. For those of you whom have NO IDEA... I never mention my husband Jerry. We rarely do anything together except, WORK, Sleep, vacation, and sex. The rest of the time we really lead seperate lives, which for us works, but I do miss having a friend to just walk around with. Today... well we walked around town, ate lunch/dinner, an inbetween thing... got tea for me, and after walking almost all of down town sweets. It was a lovely day, although it was dark, wet, and windy beyond the date, feeling more like late November than mid October, but lovely for me all the same. It's so nice we like the same things, are drawn to the same things and he doesn't or didn't complain about how many stores I wanted to go into today.

I got home started looking through my mags I got earlier and what did I see? Navarre! Yes WITHOUT imagination... Navarre has now been published as an add in the Asheville mag page 43 this month... When our new camera comes back from repair...long story... I'll take a picture and post it here, but in the mean time I'm posting my copy of the picture!

Here we are at home, it's nearly 6:30 and I walk upstairs to type this out.. and it smells like smoke. He finally broke down and turned on our heat. The only thing in this stone house, with NO insulation, real plaster walls is base board heaters... so our electric runs about 400 a month to stay in the 60's ... So not only did I mean should I be alarmed at the smell of smoke for a fire reason but now I should be alarmed at the next electric bill. YUCK....