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Sunday, March 31, 2013

clearing weeds

I've been crazy working today.
I weeded the asparagus garden I started years ago, although I worry about all the rain we had this year and how they have yet to come up.  Normally these are one of the first foods to spring forward, but... not in sight as of yet.

  • I cut back the rose bushes again...
  • I propped them up better and cut off all the suckers.
  • re stacked all the bottles I had around the asparagus plants as mulch.  Collected bark to apply later when the plants emerge. 

Yep chipped all the polish I had applied two days ago... but at least you can't see the stain of the clay under my nails.

Some friends came over took photos of the horses... for a photography class she is taking... you know thirds and framing projects.

We brushed the horses off again... cleaned up all the crazy amount of hair, but there was no getting off the wet caked on mud.... Horses will be horses!

Met one of my new neighbors on his walk pass the estate.  Hope to meet his wife soon.  They live in the SWEET little A frame down the road.

Friday, March 29, 2013

Pinesol, Bleach, and Soap.

Got all stocked up on Bleach... No I do not like having to use it but I do like washing my blankets in bleach merely because they get washed so rarely.  They carry such horrible things... and they STINK with only soap and vinegar. Trust me i've tried it but it's just not enough...

Soap.... I tend to use as natural a soap as I can make or get so I can reuse the grey water.

Pinesol... All because Flies do not like the smell of it and I do.
I so enjoy washing out a stall with pinesol, I've gotten to where I on occasion will wash out the under hang of the barn as well.

Fly traps are out and will get filled up with water on the next good sunny warm day.

Fly feed through has been used all winter... each day so no matter what is attracted to the estate it will not be able to multiply.  There are after all cows up the mountain and down the mountain all within a two mile radius of their allowed travels... So... one must do what she can do to keep it all under control.

Horses have been out on grass a little... but only minutes at a time.
Sweet Pea will get a few hours in the morning.... while Navarre gets used to a friends dog.

I have also cut ... by hand... some of the feather grass in the pasture and I will have to keep an eye on it as the season progresses.

Lots done, but so much more to do as life never sleeps at the barn.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

What a difference visitors make.

It is amazing how having someone stop by can change the day!

Yesterday it was a friend and his child than came by...
We did very little but it was enough, enough to give me a boost.

  • I got to the barn 10 minutes late and they had swept my barn for me.
  • Gathered their hay.
  • I had the horses HOT feed with me.
  • We got Navarre brushed out, carefully so it didn't get into his hay or feed.  (right now you can't touch him without a hand full of hair coming off in your hand.  His Feathers are cut because he walks on them, his forelock needs cut, as does his mane but this will only happen as the weather gets warm and stays warm.  He needs the coverage in this freezing weather.
  • I got another layer put on SweetPea for another night of freezing rain, snow and wet issues.
  • We got the water tub cleaned out in our short time above freezing today... and got it filled up to the rim for the rest of the week.
Not much, but enough... Then we played watching Navarre be the spirited little boy he is.  It is so fun watching them be horses when they run and play.

It is so nice as of late to have a few friends come by enjoy the animals the quiet and the peaceful energy of the property.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

I may loose followers

It may mean some of you decide not to read my post anymore.  That is fine if it suites you.

 First I don't make money off this blog so what does it really matter?
Second this is about equal rights!

Today is the day I will wear red.   WHY?  Because today is  chosen day for the right for ALL PEOPLE to marry whom ever they choose.

This is SUPPOSE to be a country free, equal, and open to others beliefs.

While I believe in Christianity, Boodism, Muslim, Jewish religions all different BUT all related one way or another if you dig deep enough.
While I believe we each have a calling, unique only to one person;  I do not understand how any human has the right to give judgement over another.   Where in ANY of your precious books does it say YOU have the right to judge your brother, sister, or extended family (the world) Yes there are extremes, but do you not forget these books were written by HUMANS? 
How one human sees themselves as higher, better, or more entitled than any other is beyond me.

We all eat
We all drink
We all should do our best to not harm the other
We all try to make our way in the world as we see it.

There are extreamist in EVERY corner of the world, and I refuse to be a part of a legal, pushy, and cowardly group telling anyone else whom they can fall in love with.  How do you control your heart?   What harm is anyone loving another harming YOU?  I am for protecting children but that is NOT the issue here, that is a seperate issue all together, so those who think this is related need to go jump off the bridge for uneducated, ignorant, and self scared people.

I know this goes against some teachings of today.   I know the human race (like any other animal) is suppose to multiply and prosper.  But as our higher power made these people who are YOU to judge the purpose of the higher power?   Who are you to destroy another?   Who are you to choose to emotionally chain, cage, and torture this human. 

Did you never think any and all of these people were sent here to challange YOUR stiffeld, archaic, and scared thoughts because YOUR HIGHER POWER IS TRYING TO CHANGE YOU!!!!!

And if this is the case may the higher power flood the world with those who love each other freely.  Who raise the children off cast by those who claim to be better.  Who contribute to this world as givers and who are a part of making this world a better place for all; including you who are against them.  Because what is an equal right for them today my be your rights trampled on in generations to come. 

Having equal rights is not about being a man, or a woman, it about being human.
These groups in general have a way of supporting those less fortunate.  If ever you find yourself in that group, shall you never forget the judgement you forced on your fellow human. 

If you are a woman judging ... shame on you ... as if life never changed you would be property of a man at his hand, and for him to do what ever he pleases as you are merely a thing and not human, not able to think for ones self, not able to make real decessions.
If you are man judging... shame on you... as you would likely 98% be the servant, slave, or even worse of another more fortunate man.  Never being allowed to keep your family, your children, or belongings.

This is not the story of African Americans this is also true of "Anglos" as most were not free men, but slaves of another or kept poor under the reign of a Ruler. 

This land... North America... was the mother of people who accepted two spirited people.  It should stay that way! 

Fighting for Equal Rights for ALL humans. 

Monday, March 25, 2013

Winter Coats.

Life here is very strange, as life would have it the furry between human expectation, old man winter, and mother nature are all at odds.

In the brief moment of sun yesterday Navarre rolled in the mud but instead of being coated in mud the ground was coated with his long white hair.

The temperatures are below freezing each night and he needs that hair, but as the sun rises higher and longer his body knows it needs to be getting rid of the hairy beast he becomes in the winter.  For him this is critical.

For Sweet Pea, she had no good winter coat and in this rain and cold her rain coat is not enough.  The poor thing has to have a fleece layer at night.  While it is wet when I remove it each morning it is dry by the time I replace it, if not I put a blanket I made into a coat for her under the rain layer. 

The rain layer will have to be replaced this year as soon as they go on sale.

Life is tight but I will have to get her a new coat... Navarre will last another year of two with out one but then due to his PPSM or EPSM (which ever your vet uses)  I am sure I will have to start to accommodate his to keep his muscle tissues warm so he can move easier as he ages as well.

LIFE ...
Oh well on to playing with all the birds this morning...
My love to the world

Sunday, March 24, 2013


I have said it a million times but a million and one can't hurt.

As drove Jerry and myself to the barn last night, we were passed and stopped by a neighbor.  Is your truck stuck by chance?  Yes! I can't get it out...

Long bed nothing in it and it is on the drainage route (nothing but moss) for water for my property not to mention the three properties up hill. Not to mention my tires SUCK... I got them OH???? only 5 years ago and only 40,000 miles ago... but the truck is rarely used but when it is; it is used to its maximum capacity.

He was on his way down he mountain to get food for the kids
He asked how long I'd be there... I had to ask Jerry just because he hates being at the barn unless he is reading, and he didn't have a book.

I'll go get food and be back as soon as I can he said!
Yes any help would be great!  Thank you I'll wait!

It worked perfectly. I let out Sweet Pea so she could eat as we waited.
got their feed ready
got out their hay
Got water going...
Started the truck and not five minutes later he was there hooking up my truck with his diesel dooley.  It actually took more than I expected to get my little truck out, but I was SOOOO happy once she was out and drivable again.

Jeff ... was his name... dog in tow... he has goats and issues with the bears up the mountain.  Now I owe him!  And happy to pay it back at any time needed!

Life is good when people just notice. 
My poor truck had been there two weeks now. ...  with little I could do about it, so to have someone offer to help I can't say thank you enough.

I am SO thankful for my neighbors.

Friday, March 22, 2013

just a few things

Well today was a slower day...

Horses done.
Birds done mine and ones I am sitting.

Had a guy come out with metal detector to help find missing Gravely Piece... no luck!

Horses then got a HOT meal, then tonight SweetPea got a blanket and rain coat as bad weather is setting in for the week.

Possible flurries for the next 5 nights!  What the heck?  Oh well it allows me more time to be looking for a job on line.

Didn't get any more rooms in the house done but kept what is done fairly clean today. 

Best of luck to everyone else out there!

Thursday, March 21, 2013

memories or weather?

Everything is off the wall.
I knew it was going to be cold last night, there was little chance of rain and only flurries in the upper elevations.  By 5am I was up, warming my coffee from the press and glanced outside because of the frantic sound of trucks going up and down the road.  It was snow... snow all over the place.  NOT on my drive but high lofted on the grass. 

As I clean the floors once again (and there is a lot of dirt from only one day) I have on the TV the movie Stone Angel.  It only brings up what I have always thought, what I have seen in my decent size family the only thing you take with you is your memories.  They may be jumbled, they may be distorted over time but they are only owned and known by the carrier.

Why do people worry so much about how much they have, what they are going to leave, and how well they look in the eye of someone else.  I have never understood it, I have rarely played into the social standards, my only concerns are to take care of my husband, my animals and myself.  I look like a farm hand most of the time, but I do know how to use soap and water, press clothes and barely remember how to be social but I try.

My worry today is getting to the barn in the snow and making sure Sweet Pea has HOT mash for breakfast, plenty of hay for warmth, and I'll need to break open their ice for water.... Making sure the house is warm enough for the birds and trying to get a full time job. 

My horses... and a Job are the worries of my day. 

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Crazy weather.

Mother nature must be hormonal this year!

I've had 60 degree days freckled amongst the winter calender this year.  Today is expected to be in the 50's but tonight and for the next week everything is suppose to get down to freezing at night.

What does this mean?
Well for starters I'll have to keep Navarre brushed really well so he can regulate his temperature better.  I will have to blanket SweetPea as she was all a shiver just yesterday.  So... Instead of the brushing every other day to take care of that winter coat (sense Navarre is sweaty by 4 pm) I'll have to do it everyday for the next week. 

It also means I'm going to have to figure out covers for all my fruit trees.  Apples, Pears, Cherry and the almond.  They are all well on their way with fresh tender leaves and I don't want the blooms to freeze and not occur this year.  What's the big deal?  Well I have birds till the end of the month and I normally use these sheets/ covers to protect my table and floor... Oh well ... You just have to laugh get over it and get it done some how!

So... Rocks, Sheets, and Hay  on 6 trees Cover, Uncover... just one more thing to add to the twice a day things...   remember NO plastics! have to be cloth...

Monday, March 18, 2013

Mr. Heimlich ...

Life with one less friend.
I knew it was coming, but you never expect that call.

My daddy took my cat when he moved out of the farm house and into his newly built home in Goodlettsville.  My father loves cats and I had three dogs and was about to start traveling myself... so it was fine with me, as I could still visit and get updates at any time.

Besides little did I know Daddy and Heimlich were made for each other.  Heimlich trained daddy to do what ever he wanted, when he wanted and exactly how he wanted. 

Heimlich had a routine...
Out in the morning ask to come back inside
Out in the morning and ask daddy to come brush him, then returning inside again.
Out in the morning as soon as the other cats started coming around, watch over his dirty water bowl, and back inside when ever he felt like it.

Daddy allowed this cat to do anything... rummage through the newly insulated attic.  Go in and out of the garage at any point requested.  He'd pick him up for the bed, the sofa and even the arm chair.

This cat had daddy wrapped around his paw and I loved watching it each time I visited.

Heimlich snuggled next to me each time I visited until the last few times.  At this point they were two old men dependant on each other and wanting nothing to do with a woman who came in and out of their lives.

My hat is off to Dad, who after getting an ex-ray and seeing the horror inside of little Heimlich (who never grew into those large paws of his) Daddy decided to make his journey to the next phase an easy going one instead of a painful journey all the way down that lonely road.

Dad had Heimlich put down this morning.... I got a text ... and rushed to call.  I knew something was wrong.  I worry now about my Dad... they were two old men keeping the other going... I just want my Dad to be as happy as Heimlich was.

Heimlich got his name at Paradox Farms... he was a FAT, SNOTTY little cat that kept getting under the feet of BOY each time I exercised him.  Brian R named him... it stuck.. it was so cute and fit him perfectly. 

Heimlich was a sweet little fat cat.... no longer in such pain....
sleep well my little fat black boy... sleep well.

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Lots of grass

I have created a page on Pintrest only a few shots of horses... Some are my photos... Most are those which caused me to stop when I was scrolling electronically.

intense, I have  been looking for years for this head/fly band... found once ... was too expensive.Please feel free to see what I have collected...
Please read the script on the heading of the collection.wrprincenavarre my horse collection

If you are not a Pintrest member... Here is what I say about me, about horses, about this collection.

Horses are a dream, a want, a pleasure; but to some of us they are our life line.  I have tried living without a horse.  I do not fare well, my marriage does not fare well; as without a horse my breath is short, my mind all muck, and my heart broken as if I have fallen from the earth and am afloat the universe were no one can find me, a darkness that keeps me from seeing the light of even the brightest and warmest candle flame.  Horses are a part of me.

But back from my dreams... Here as of today...  I am a woman with no job.  I am putting in resumes' each day, I have several cover letters and I am looking for most anything at this point.  Hoping I can get back into a doctor's office or a medical office of sorts.  But each day I do my best to allow me more time with my dear horses.

Navarre is looking better
But he needs a serious hair cut.  My time away wore his mane down as he was not brushed as often as he should have been.  So his mane down to his chest must go once again!  His forelock must be cut to about the same length.  It hangs in his face and can get into his mouth at this point which is not a good thing.

I have little to share other than Sweet Pea is getting on the pasture more and more each day.  Navarre is still stiff and is not allowed on pasture even with the mostly brown worthless long grass; he tends to dig for the lush green underneath causing us all a problem.

SO... she is more relaxed and he is upset, but atleast his pacing the fence keeps him moving... this is always a good thing with a horse with PPSM.

Life is good and I expect it to get even better.
My love to the world...

Thursday, March 14, 2013

It is amazing! 
My heart rate is down, my blood pressure is down, my mind is SOOOOO much clearer. 

I have put out several resumes.

BUT my most proud achievement of the day was my quaker coming out of her room today. She has been so unhappy with me being gone.  She rarely goes to Jerry but screams for him LATE into the night right now because he has been the only one home during daylight hours.  The only one she could rely on... you know... I'm the missing parent she is mad at!!!! mad enough to bite, draw blood, and bruise my hands, arms and neck... if she runs up my arm!

I got to see the horses four times today.  They seem to be slightly happier, they are both eating better.

I got to share the place with someone I hope to be friends with as time passes.  I was glad the estate was a peaceful for her as it is me. 

eating my basics again...
potato soup
bean soup
you know... all the dried or cheap things.... but... already gaining weight, body settling back to normal.  Life can get worse, but life is SWEET right now!

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

As I wind things down at home, ready the horse feed as the outline of the trees start to appear.  I go in to the office to fulfill my two week notice.

Yes... I have to say my boss was such a human.
His eyes teared up.
He reluctantly accepted my notice, and then asked how I planed to work out my two weeks.

I had already figured I would support him and the business in any way he saw fit, BUT advised that I felt it inappropriate to be in the field, unless it was customer service only.

He somewhat agreed and is allowing me to support the office staff in their duties while I am still on the books.

Fair enough for me.

I then plan to continue my house cleaning... 8 months of no real cleaning is about to kill me.
I then plan to get back to Nashville for some business.
I then plan on getting all of he business taxes in order...
and then get a job, any job, and then to find a better job with benefits.!

ever changing..
ever beautiful IF you allow yourself to see, smell, and touch it as it should be for you.

No one can tell you what your life should be.  Only YOU control your world!

My love to mother earth...
My love to the world

Monday, March 11, 2013

It has been a bad relationship.   NOT my marriage!  I LOVE my husband! don't get crazy, just read....

Why do we ignore the signs for something promised?

I had no time for friends.
I had no time for family.
I had no time for myself... devoting everything to make ONE thing work.

My birds are not as socialized... they are not happy, as they crave and NEED attention daily.  They need me and I am responsible for them, mentally not just bare physical needs.
My horses have suffered as I have not been on their backs for almost a year. They are board, upset and want so much more to do. A mental abuse once again.

My relationship with my husband suffered as I had no time to have fun with him, share with him, snuggle on the sofa, You know when you get so tired you can't sleep which made me so tired/ irritable  his snoring moved me out of his bed by 3am each morning...

It wasn't that I didn't believe in what I was trying to do..
It wasn't that I didn't give it all the time I had
It wasn't that I didn't try with all I was...

IT IS that I am older... my brain no longer works like it once did... it is also that I had made these mistakes early in life and the absurdity of how I was allowing a different scenario but the same actions to creep back into my life has just about slapped me in the face.

I am done with abuse!   This was SELF abuse!  I blame no one but ME...

When I was very young it was a man
I am older.  I should have known better.  I should have seen the signs earlier.... and I did; but I didn't want to be called a quitter, much like I never wanted to be married more than once in my lifetime. 

I wanted to believe I could be better.   BUT better by who's definition?  Why did I allow Social Expectations in my life... I have rarely allowed such horrible thoughts, but I did... ? How STUPID!
In the end it came down to a job, money, or ME...

If it is the one thing I treasure all my days, every day as I get my grounding from my ancestors, my elders and my land.   Money is not everything... I have said this all my life, but the pressure of the recession the pressure of wanting things to stay the same, I caved into the abuse money can cause. But I am a girl that can live in any time... any way... as long as it is grounded, dirty, and around animals.  ?  call me crazy! I have no issue with it!  I am what I am, I have always been a square in a world of round holes... ? WHY I tried to conform I have no idea how to express it adequately with the English Language.  In the end... I have to be true to me, my husband, and no one else, and the largest issue... NOTHING else, including money!

So back to my land,
Back to my penny pinching.
Back to my life as I always saw it, but a few less electronics to help cut the bills a little. 
I am fine with a candle and a book, I am not complaining I am merely deciding to go back to my peace, my love of animals and the dirt that all give me grounding.

If this makes me a simpleton in a world of electronics, social standing, and out of the loop.  SO be it! I've never been a popular girl, I've never been the cheerleader, the tennis player, or even a good sports player.

I am only truly happy when life is deep and meaningful for me.  I am a selfish person... thus I choose not to have children understanding this.  I am me and I am going back to me... and I will find a simple job that suites me inside of ME so I cause no more harm to my dear love, my friends, my family or ME! 

Thus this is my two week notice...
Thus I am no longer on the train of promise...
I am back on my horse clogging along at a slower pace seeing life as very few do. 

Some say seeing ditches for what they really are... an overlooked, necessary protector of the road more traveled, littered with glass, plastics, and discarded items from those less aware. 

We each have our ambissions, My ambissions are (and always have been) to be more simple, not more complicated.  My hat is off to those who enjoy their hectic life, their fast choices, and their drive to do more.  It takes ALL of us doing what we are pulled to do to make the world go round!  I am not judging anyone, but I ask the world stop judging me for NOT wanting the same things!

Back to me.
Back to carrying a camera.
Back to dirt under the nails; I will now allow to grow back.
Back to being cold in the winter, hot in the summer, and moving as mother nature ask me to.

MY guides above, my guides of my elders, my guiding voice inside of me and mother earth...
OH back to me...
Oh back to a real life...
The real world...
and ways forgotten by most.

HELLO ME! I LOVE YOU! and now you can love those around you once again.

my love to the world once again... AEGF...