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Sunday, April 24, 2011

A good Laugh!

A good laugh for the rest of the world but when a police officer stops me I am worse than a kid!  I'm nervous, I'm half scared and when I'm either; I'm also very short with my answers.   While my life revolves around my husband getting stopped so much he is on a first name basis with the cops and the fed's around here, I on the other hand have been stopped so little I can still recall every time.  

This time I had just gotten off the phone with Mother, going into the gorge, sun finally down new reflectors along the walls, even snow reflectors on the side of the curb.  I was enjoying the new struts on the car, left, right, left right, right... etc... There is something addictive about sway of a car in the darkness of the night and there were no other cars around.

BLUE lights flash, my relaxed state of mind goes into panic! I pull over at Fines Cove scramble for the wallet, the paperwork (that expires in 37 days...) all in the dark!  My heart starts to beat so fast it hurts, I'm sure my breathing was irregular?  I just get silly! It's like the worst thing for me to get stopped?  Besides the radar detector is in the corner cabinet at the house.  

Flashlight in the side mirror, Flashlight in the rear view mirror, blinded by the first, relief with the second move.   A tap tap tap on the side window... ? I'd already turned the car off in my panic.  I get it ? turned for electricity and get the window down.  Do you have any concealed weapons?  Well yes sir ... sort of... KEEP YOUR HANDS ON THE STEERING WHEEL.  What and where are they?   As my voice shakes, but my inside wants to start laughing... I've got a knife in my belt buckle Sir!   

I'm not sure what happened, he asked for my lisc, reg... typical stuff... I took ONE hand got the envelope/ he asked me to take my paper work out...  As I did that OVER the dash? He asked me if I liked my little car? 
ok?  at this point he steps next to me instead of behind me... I fumble with paperwork... finally answer, yes Sir, but she is 10 years old.  hand him my registration; I need your licenses .. YES SIR... I fumble...as 20's fall all in my lap ( my emergency money, I keep behind my drivers license.)  

Do you know why I stopped you?  I can only imagine SIR.  You were going 79 in a 55.  I could see that... and it's not even a 4 cylinder and my tires are bald.  ( it must have been the Lain in me... I didn't REALLY want to say that out loud, but I was thinking it! and it must have slipped out)   I'm so used to defending myself all day against typical men and their ? thought processes I am getting well... a little snappy about mechanical things.

He just let out a deep breath. These are only three cylinders? I thought they would be more like the CRX. 
NO Sir, I'm Sorry!!!!! I was just enjoying my ride back to Asheville.  He asked more about my car, What my gas millage was. I asked if I could turn the key halfway on... I showed him my dash... the 57.1 miles per gallon. Is that typical?   NO sir... I get 62 leaving the mountains  I get about  58 coming back up... but  I only get  52 running around while I'm here.   So I get less on a normal day.

Do you always drive like this? as he bends over...  He's young, cute... I'm thinking when did kids become state cops? 

NO SIR I just left my family, was zoned into the curves, and wasn't watching my dash.. only the new snow reflectors... 

Are you from up North?   
NO SIR, just got in a white out with my mother once and these red reflectors were the only thing that told us we were not going off a cliff.   

More silence as he looks at all my paperwork etc...  Honestly I'm getting more nervous as the seconds start to ring in my mind like the jeopardy theme song.

I'm going to let you go! 
Oh Thank you sir! 

You need to slow down and pay attention.  Some of these curves are blind and someone could be in the road.
I'm thinking to myself ( and did NOT say out loud) yes and stupidly engineered with all the descending radius issues ... thank a higher power that one did NOT come out of my mouth.... 
I started to relax, collecting my funds in my lap. 

He asked me to be more careful... and strangely enough... commented  On hoping I can live to an old age.

That is the second time a cops has alluded to age.  First one said he was letting me go, and hoped he never saw me again unless it was rocking on my front porch?   That one had stopped me ... not two days after I changed my life, found out my father had cancer, and I was rushing to the hospital to take him sleep clothes...

The only place that I ever get tickets ... GOODLETTSVILLE TN  Somehow most of the time I am so scared they have pity on me.  I can only suppose last night was one of those times.

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