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Saturday, July 31, 2010

I am dissapointed in myself.

I love camping, I more than enjoy being outside and experiencing what ever mother nature throws at me... BUT this last PLUSH trip made I realized I am either getting old or I am WAY TOO PAMPERED. I can only assume it is both!

When I normally camp I sleep on the ground with three mats below me, an old WOOL sleeping bag and in a newer more realistic sleeping bag.

This time I got to sleep in a BED... now while this is PLUSH... my mind loved it, my body ???? not so sure the ground wouldn't have done just as well.... the bed however was ? so questionable a bean bag was placed over it in order to tolerate how ??? different it was.

I so enjoyed my time camping but my body was starting to have its issues with my choices. when I got home, although LATE for me... plus or minus midnight... I didn't move a muscle for a good Ten hours... Jerry got out of bed before I did! That is an earth stopping event! it had to be the shock of being back in my luxury bed at home.

When I normally camp I have to use the woods ,the privy... (basic out house) or what ever is available. This time I was in a camper and had a toilet at my every whim. But... being as it were... I have always carried paper with me no matter where I go.. yes especially out of the country.. but when using a privy OR a biologically balanced system one must use paper that is more easily eaten by the bacteria and or it's environment...

This has NEVER bothered me before! It didn't REALLY bother me this time ... but that FIRST sit in the "library" at home with my lush paper and my solid thrown ... well felt right. What is happening to my adventurous side? Or am I really getting this old?

I must have had expectations! I never allow myself to expect anything of a vacation, but somehow with in the dark corners of my mind, because I was staying in the country, I was going to be camping in HIGH STYLE, my mind did not settle into the roughness it has always enjoyed.

I have no idea what has happened to me. 40 didn't bother me! but 45 just might! Why am I loosing my ability to adapt to anything? or am I just coming to realize my life is MORE PLUSH than I thought, although VERY simple compared to most. More simple than some / most... even family members dare to experience with me as a visit, as they prefer a hotel to my house! My life is better than I realized and thus ... I have to finally admit I am once again a spoiled women. Not like most! Not with money spent and expectations of the finer things in life but... with the little things not everyone has.

I will have to pitch my tent! have a rough time of it after this next little time off. I must, put my mind back into the frame of accepting what ever mother nature throws at me... and not expect such spoiled attitudes from with in. I am disappointed in myself. I expected ? something? I hate entitlements! I am not entitled to anything! I am human and I must work, prove, and earn what I have.

But in all fareness this trip was not about camping (to me) it was about sharing an experience with my Father/ Daddy...so we each had memories to carry with our soals for ever after.   I love travel, I enjoy camping, but memories shared with family is like blood in your veins, life supporting.  Make it happen! Do it!  Share life with those you love.

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