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Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Do you ever just have ONE OF THOSE DAYS?

Yesterday was not the best of days for me. While my life is on schedule and going well as far as the estate...work... and plans;  something snapped in my brain yesterday! No NOT Literally but emotionally.

I had planned a day for myself. I was desperate to ride my horses; something I have not had time to do sense I started working on the estate full time along with my full time job.

While I have in the past made a point to take a day or two and rest here and there so not to loose my mind, it apparently did me no good, or was just a waste of time, because I felt like I lost my mind anyway.

I make a point not to post "bad" or disturbing things here most of the time but in reality physical work is one thing, mental work is another but when mixed... it starts to drain the mind body and soul of all the essentials and eventually you snap. I didn't see it coming... I didn't feel any different from one moment to the next but my day was not my norm.

I got up started researching my want to... see or do  list for Yellowstone.

Then... I was suppose to leave at 7am to ride at the Biltmore for the morning... it was raining cats and dogs, so that was out of the question .
SO... back to more research on the barn, the plants, and Yellowstone

A call about concerns of life... another story ... another day... but yet another light gone from my universe that was dark for the day already.

Long story shorter.. I was back in bed by 11am mad, upset and just not wanting to talk to the world, I couldn't take my husband joking with me, took a comment from my sister to heart, and just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry.

The sun did come out for a while and I rushed to brush my wet horse, tack the dry one I had locked up earlier due to her shaking she was so wet and cold. I took both the "kids" out for a walk... just this short walk allowed me to think of nothing, I ran into lovely people on the ride, got to talk to them briefly and got back to the barn just as the heavens opened again for a thunderstorm with all the bells and whistles..

The day turned out ok, but ???? I was off yesterday.  Still not sure why, but I definately feel better today.  Who knows,  am I the only one out there that gets this way? Is this one of my ? "off shape" things?

I'm not always happy, I do try to look at things realisticly, but I hate days that smack you in the face and ? kick you in the gut so badly you loose your breath and can't stand up.   But we have to take the good with the bad so that is why I am posting this.   I am real!  While I do not fit in the round hole, or the square hole, I have made my own shape in the board... but I still fit somewhere. ( at least in my mind I do ha ha ha...)

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